Okay, I know I'm a bit late weighing in on this topic but I was inspired by the wonderful post over at 108 Zen Books. I have a slightly jaundiced view of holidays that have been hijacked as consumer opportunities, celebrations that have morphed in to shopping festivals. Note to self: this is a rant free post.
But I want to offer this little link to a piece Gil Fronsdal wrote on love. He talks about the different kinds of love. Valentine's Day has become a celebration of romantic love, a complex subject but Gil reminds us of the richness and diversity of love.
"The Buddhist tradition encourages people to develop four different forms of love, called the four Brahmaviharas: loving-kindness (metta), compassion (karuna), sympathetic joy (mudita), and, finally, an emotion that we don’t generally equate with love, equanimity (upekkha). These are all forms of love because they all include a warm, tender, sympathetic attitude of the heart toward oneself or others.
Buddhism teaches that a variety of attitudes may be confused as love. One is sensual desire. Another is affection that is entangled with craving and the need for reciprocity. The Buddha never encouraged the cultivation of such affection; in fact, he often considered it a hindrance to spiritual maturity. However, if we abandon such affections too quickly, we may overlook situations when affection consists of a combination of craving and one of the four helpful forms of love. One of the joys of spiritual practice is learning to distinguish unhelpful grasping and neediness from an underlying love that needs nothing beyond itself. What should be abandoned is craving, not love. When letting go of craving is too difficult, then a person may practice developing one of the four forms of love to the point that any need to be loved naturally loses its power in the glow of love flowing from us."
Wishing you a day where you take the time to bring love into awareness and recognize the many places it manifests in your life and the new ways you can bring it into being in this world. Tossing imaginary flowers and chocolate in your general direction!
Oh my! How perfect! I so needed to read this post. Today I want to have fun. I want to be light hearted about "love". I think it's possible to express the mature spiritual love Gil describes and still embrace the now of Valentines Day in our culture and be playful in that spiritual "buddha" expression.
ReplyDeleteyou are so right! Light heartedness is a good antidote to the heaviness we can sometimes feel. and I feel this way about the Christmas celebration, there is a way to make it joyfully ours without "buying" into what feels a bit off.
ReplyDeleteLove.....such a rich subject in its many forms.
ReplyDeleteit is rich and we are rich when we draw it into our awareness! wishing you a Nanaimo bar kind of day!
DeleteLovely post with the added magic of that chocolate bar that thumped against my door this afternoon.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Suki. Glad you heard the chocolate bar arrive! Who knows what nibbling creatures might have carried it off? Or perhaps you shard a little love with them too!
DeleteMay your "bowl" always be filled with the spaciousness of love and joy... Heart Hugs :)
ReplyDeletesuch a lovely wish! thank-you Christine, hugs to you!
Deletetossing smiles and flowers right back atcha, carole...
ReplyDeletexoxo
freesias, right? and the smiles of all your painted beauties. xoxo!
ReplyDeleteThank you for the flowers, Carole! I like all flowers, even imaginary ones. ;o) I'm with you on the commercialization of holidays. Still, I like Valentine's Day though, and take it as a day to enjoy and express all forms of love. I loved what you said, "love that needs nothing beyond itself." We ought to carry that sentiment with us daily, then perhaps we might not grasp so much. I have found that in the past year, since bringing the holidays of earth-bound philosophies into my life and focusing more on the natural rhythms of life, I can be a bit less cynical about the commercialized occasions because my heart feels wider open to more love and the earth, but not the material earth. ;o) It's a day late, but I MUCH LOVE your way ((HUGS))
ReplyDeleteI think it is great to experience the true essence of these holidays and bypass the rest, as you point out. Wonderful that you have found a way that helps and opens your heart. Skillful means for sure. Hugs to Norway!
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