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The Dalai Lama says that the "purpose of life is to be happy." And who am I to contradict the Dalai Lama? Maybe, like a friend of mine, you believe that the Dalai Lama is just spoon feeding Westerners. She is one of those people who believe that there is too much suffering in our personal lives and in the world to make happiness a real pursuit. She believes it's frivolous. Me, I'm not so sure that's true.
There is of course compassion and moral behaviour and service as things to point ourselves at, but why should those exclude our happiness? Okay try this. Sit down for a couple of minutes and make a list of the things that make you happy. You could do this right now? What's on your list? I have cats and granola with cacoa powder and listening to Dharma talks, reading Mary Oliver, a good laugh, visiting with friends, sunshine and a bunch more, lots of small things.
Happiness does arise in all of us but as Rick Hanson points out in his book "Buddha's Brain" "the mind is like velcro for negative experiences and teflon for positive ones" so our minds are not naturally inclined toward happiness. Perhaps the Dalai Lama is pointing us in the direction of mind training when he says "the purpose of life is to be happy." We need to continually point ourselves in the direction of sunshine.
Rick Foster and Greg Hicks, in their book "How We Choose To Be Happy" suggest that looking at our lists of "what makes us happy" might even make us feel happy. They suggest that we ask ourselves at various times during the day, "what would make me happy right now?" We might not always be able to have what we think will make us happy at the moment but it can help us orient ourselves towards the cultivation of happiness.
Including happiness as an active choice in our lives can give us more energy to do the things we feel are as important as happiness. Perhaps we can be compassionate, of service and offer kindness to others while pursuing our own happiness? Perhaps these things are themselves sources of happiness?
And we haven't even defined "happiness" here! What do you think about happiness? What role does it play in your life?
It struck me the other day that if we are reluctant to embody happiness we choose to be blind to the real nature of tragedy - which is the beginnings of resilience. We lose perspective and then become ineffective when we try to make a difference in the cause of lifting suffering. more than that, because we're hard-wired to orient to threat so we can protect ourselves, paying attention only to threat/suffering is inherently selfish.
ReplyDeleteIt also occurred to me that I no longer have any excuses for being a pessimist or a curmudgeon!
interesting, "paying attention only to threat/suffering is inherently selfish." I would not have thought of it this way, but yes, when you put it that way it does feel self centred (but often done without awareness.)
DeleteOh, no we have to give up our habitual curmudgeoness! Reminds me a little of a monk's talk I once heard on "the pride of insecurity"
I have had so much pain in my life and have had to overcome so much that I embrace happiness, and with gratitude. I surround myself with it as much as I can. For me it means optimism, being positive, enjoying all the little good things in life, getting peaceful. We really do attract what we dwell on. I, for one, refuse to live through my wounds. I find many people are reluctant to let go of their wounds and that is so sad.
ReplyDeleteAn inspired way to live, to find happiness and gratitude in the small things around us and remember to do this on a daily basis, to have learned the value of this through pain. And your comment reflects this point of view of making an "active choice" to be happy and equanimous. Yes!
DeleteDana paramita when I reallyyyyy mean it makes me happy! Receiving others with an open heart really makes me happy...but these two things only happen about 3 times a year, sad to say! (I keep trying, but the self keeps carrying forward)
ReplyDeleteOn an everyday basis, dedications of merit make me happy, sauna's make me happy, the beach, shaved heads and O'kesas, coffee, reading in the morning before anyone else is up, smiles that come from nowhere, and sunlight filtering through the trees...
Great post!
flying pigs make me smile! And I like nothing better than a chuckle so when I read "but these two things only happen about 3 times a year" I had a good chortle!
DeleteYes the lovely simple things that can fill our hearts with joy, how they enliven us.
I believe in the Dalai Lama and his mantra of happiness. I love to sit inside a sunny window, sip my cup of tea and look at a good art book.. Oh and a piece of dark chocolate please.
DeleteCarole your posts are always so worthwhile and this post does not disappoint. First of all iwant to say I really like the second image alot. it has everthing and I responded to it with a smile. For me, I make a choice everyday to be happy. I agree that it is a choice and we can choose it or not. To be happy is contagious and that is one of its gifts xo
ReplyDeleteThanks! That means a lot to me! And I always have that sense that you make a conscious choice to be happy. Your last post was about things that you love! And I always love your tag line too, "you must make an effort to put things into motion", another instance of making a choice.
DeleteSuch a provocative post... I feel it depends on how one defines happiness... Feelings are just feelings, neither right or wrong... What's behind the feeling is what I'm going for - all the way to the Source :)
ReplyDeleteIt is true, "feelings are just feelings, neither right or wrong". I so agree. I was talking with someone today about the ebb and flow, that we can't always be in the "up" swing, and sometimes we might feel other than "happy". This is the Buddha's "impermanence.
DeleteWhen I talk about choosing happiness I am talking to myself and saying instead of looking around the room and seeing the things that need to be done or what someone else hasn't done, I might choose to look around and find what is pleasing, what I am grateful for. I am choosing how I use my mind. But if I am visited by depression or down times it is not for me to push them away and put on a happy face.
And it is my sense that perhaps we cannot always know the "source" of our feelings?
And perhaps happiness might be peace or equanimity?
Thank you Carole for the clarification :) I know, isn't it interesting how something in the room will catch our awareness and shift our whole perspective...
DeleteWhen I speak of the "Source" behind the feeling, I'm referring to that space of silent, knowing, aware Consciousness that is the eternal Source of our being - not the "cause" of the feeling... Some refer to it as our "Natural State" - which of course *is* happiness, joy and peace, etc.
Wishing everyone here, and everywhere, happiness!
ReplyDeleteThank you for this post and the lovely artwork!
(I don't know why, it's been a while since I visited ZDS - sorry! - for some reason it fell off my blogreader...... now fixed!)
hey Marcus good to see you here! Nice to read your post over at Wake Up and Laugh!
DeleteThis was wonderful, Carole! I happen to be of the school of thought along with the Dalai Lama in choosing to see "the purpose of life is to be happy," to choose the path of sunshine rather than shade. That's not so say I don't recognize the path of shade and sorrow that many are walking or must deal with. That's where the great teaching/learning of compassion comes into play. For I do believe we must dwell in extending compassion for our fellow creatures, living right livelihood, etc. I have my own trials and hardships as much as anyone else, for life isn't always sunshine... But I choose happiness. And I see happiness as a gift to be shared with others. Happiness can be a positive force in times of darkness. Let's spread a bit more sunshine, I say! ;o)
ReplyDeleteHi Carol. I like the idea of stopping now and then throughout the day and saying: what would make me happy right now. that brings it right into an immediate choice.
ReplyDeletemaybe we can be happy no matter what the exterior or even interior world is presenting. I read something like this on Jan Frazier's website the other day.
I am grateful I live in a place without war, that I have plenty of food and shelter. I wonder if I lived in a war zone if I would be pondering this question of happiness. I dont know.
What makes me happy: writing, painting, a cup of tea, my cat Bibbity, dinner with my son, the sunshine.
I totally agree that happiness is, as Sylvia Boorstein put it, "an inside job". We orient ourselves in that direction which includes appreciating what's around us that gives us joy. Which of course doesn't preclude the fact that sometimes we will feel other ways.
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ReplyDeleteGrand post.
ReplyDelete'Important stuff' as we say here at Wren House Studio.
I really appreciate the Buddhafied teachings that inevitably begin with the Lama reviewing the points that state...no matter when we were born or where, no matter what our education or lack of, no matter what we are supplied with or what we don't have...the common ground is that every living being simply wants to be happy. No easy task in samsara yet so worth the releasing of all the obscurations and afflicted emotions that would hold our joy at bay....nothing frivolous about such a powerful and profound pursuit most especially when the glimpses of happiness are dedicated to all living beings.
Nice sum up!
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