Summer Houseguests, Inspiration & Cake

Some new work, some older work

The last scent of summer has been washed away by some much needed sky water followed by a gentle helping of fog. This meteorological menu has sent me rummaging through saved magazine bits looking for squash and kale recipes. It's fall, there must be sweaters and soup. On Saturday I gathered the last of the zucchini, some sugar pumpkins and a generous bouquet of sunflowers from the roadside stands to welcome fall to my kitchen.

I am trying to remember what I do in a season that is not summer; one where I can't spend most of my day outside. Transitions: they throw us a bit. We pause at their gate but that's not a bad a thing; the pausing. 

Travelling By Hindsight 12"x12"

The days of summer are tiny wisps of memory now. I have no interest in the story of "I went here, I did this." I am more interested in the inner landscape (though the outer offers it's own deliciousness). You don't need to know that I was stung by wasps and the bottom of my purse now harbours an epi pen, that's another story. 

On my excellent inner adventures (with a nod to Bill & Ted) doubt became my summer houseguest and I decided to get to know it a little better. I mean it's not that doubt (the prankster) hasn't always been lurking, it's just that this summer I invited him out of the attic because he's made such hidden trouble up there. He made an overbearing sort of houseguest, you know the kind that talks too much, knows everything and makes you feel awful and worn out by bedtime. He wrecks stuff and leaves a general trail of shrapnel and dirty towels behind him. I wouldn't recommend him on trip advisor (but you know about him already, I'm thinking). One of his most annoying traits is that he masquerades as wisdom and intelligence but really he's just scared things aren't going to work out and that's his cover-up. He is a spoiler, a bit like mold on the wind or maybe more like leprosy, eating away at the strength of the bone.

Night Walk

I tried to just be there with his shenanigans, sensing how they felt. When I could do this whole heartedly, doubt got a bit bored with me as audience and went off looking for more enthusiastic hosts.

I rediscovered the work of David R. Hawkins this summer by a chance encounter and it tied in with my exploration of doubt. I'd read him years ago and at that time I'd hated his levels of consciousness idea. It seemed too much like a rating system. It felt different this time round. He reminds us how powerful our minds are, how we are connected to a greater consciousness and how we're not really in charge of this personal little boat. He encourages us to explore our beliefs and work with ones that don't serve us well. Do I want to believe in doubt or do I want to believe in willingness and love and possibility

First Snow at Berg Lake

So as we dip our toes gingerly into the upcoming season of hibernation I wish you happy travels. I see you wrapped in a cozy sweater, near a toasty fire, sipping something warm, exploring the wealth of human imagination that surrounds us on crisp paper pages or glowing screens (this is a modern fairytale). And if you hunger for the perfect taste of fall, here's an apple cake recipe that even I could execute. Invite your tribe over to ooo and aw over your awesome culinary skills.

A New Studio & Other Summer Impermanence

Life has been full of summer energy and things.  One of these things is that I have finally scrubbed the last of the sawdust from the ceiling of the old workshop and moved in paint and paper, canvases and all.  It feels good to have a workspace where I can make as much mess as I like. Paint on the floor, no problem it's plywood, paint on the counter, no problem, it's old wood.  Want to bang a nail into the wall to hang something up, just on a whim?  Go for it.  It's kind of like when you were a kid and you got your own room, there is a giddiness to it.  It feels exciting.  I like that it's old and worn and not too precious.

And I have in fact been in there alternating between gardening and painting and working away on another little project.  Here's some more peeks at the studio space and a Buddha in progress.

And the view of the old barn from one of the windows.

  I have been shaking up the spiritual path a bit lately too.  I have felt drawn to the Shamanic Journey work of Sandra Ingerman and have been doing some of that in addition to my more Buddhist centred practice.  Maybe it's living here in the forest, but I feel the call to add something nature based, something that moves into the world of the unseen, into the elemental world of spirit.  I find the two practices complement each other and coexist very nicely.  I love the Bon practice of Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche which is the pre Buddhist practice of the Indigenous people of Tibet and somehow adding the Shamanic work to the Insight meditation work I have been doing feels akin to this. For me the Shamanic journey work is simply another way to approach the "stuff" that we work with on a daily basis, the stuff that can feel stuck and intractable, kind of like turning a package that you are trying to open, upside down and working it from the other side.  One of the personal things I am working with is being comfortable with "being seen" which in many ways is work of the introvert.

Also on the spiritual front I am reading "The Great Heart Way" by Gerry Shishin Wick and Ilia Shinko Perez.  I was impressed with Wick when I saw him on one of the Tricycle online retreats and ordered his book from The Book Depository (my favourite place to order books online).  The subtitle of the book is "How to Heal Your Life and Find Self-fulfillment".  Wick, who is a Zen teacher, looks at the 3 poisons of greed, hate and delusion as expressions of our "shadow self", the parts we have unconsciously rejected.  He approaches the Dharma by having us look at what we have rejected in ourselves and bring it into the light.  In this way we can work to unlock the "stuck" places of anger or greed by going deeply into our personal terrain or is that subterrain?  Why do some situations or people's behaviour trigger our anger?  What is the deep source of our  desire?  This approach intrigues me and feels like it holds potential to approach the Dharma in a very personal way.  Hmmm, have I got a theme going on here?

An old kimono jacket that I bought years ago for $1 has found a home by the cute old wood stove

.  It was almost cool enough to light the stove this morning!

And on Thursday we saw Susan Moon read from her book "This Is Getting Old", a reflection on aging from a Buddhist point of view, pulled together with her lovely sense of humour.  She talks about the typical aging boomer topics of caring for aging parents, physical decline, memory loss, and becoming invisible.  She shared her aim to do it all with grace and humour.

And there was a volunteer stint at the Lavender Festival up the road and qi gong at the Japanese Peace Park in Ganges and an art opening called "100 Mile Furniture".  This is summer!  How's your's?

A Precious Human Life Meets Summer

Here's a new piece, 20"x 24". It's called Andy's Buddhas. I know you can guess why. Each little Buddha is wearing a verse from the Dhamapada and the bottom block of green has the words from "This Precious Life" by the Dalai Lama:

Every day, think as you wake up, Today I am fortunate to have woken up, I am alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it. I am going to use All my energies to develop myself, To expand my heart out to others, To achieve enlightenment for The benefit of all beings, I am going to have kind thoughts towards others, I am not going to get angry, Or think badly about others, I am going to benefit others As much as I can

Yesterday as I was hanging the laundry (a favourite meditation of mine) I felt this deep sense of being home, of true joy. I am generally a slightly grumbly type but this place just fills me with gratitude. Everything about it seems just right for me. There is privacy and quiet and a beautiful rural quality to the place. I can hang out in the garden. I can water the plants in my pyjamas with my hair standing in ways that would frighten small children. I can spend endless hours messing around with art materials. I have found placement for my art in several venues and the natives here seem uncannily friendly when you go into town.

I realized as I counted my blessings that these were all outward manifestations that could change at any time and that true equanimity comes from being okay with whatever comes up. This in fact deepens the gratitude and joy for me, knowing how special and fleeting such things can be. Appreciating and enjoying the small pleasures of life does not stand against knowing that our true essence lies somewhere deeper. The most "spiritual" beings I have met are filled with laughter and joy. They are also filled with faith and trust in what presents itself. My old Dharma teacher recently gave a talk on the Rolling Stones line: "You don't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you just might get what you need." Who knew the Rolling Stones were Dharma teachers?

So while the weather isn't overly cooperative in this part of the world we are enjoying the pleasures of summer. Yesterday we wandered a bit in the local Saturday market, picked a huge bowl of strawberries from the patch down by the pond. And following the lead of merci 33 I decided to sleep outside under the full moon. No matter I needed long underwear and a wool sweater. And I slept under the covered part of the deck so when the rain started at 3 in the morning I simply rolled over. The night air was filled with the sounds of frogs and the occasional hooting of owls. Yet at 3 in the morning silence had the upper hand. The moon moved in and out of the clouds and skirting along the tops of the fir trees.

What will you do to welcome this delicious, delicate, fleeting season?