Gladdening The Heart

This picture doesn't do it justice but this is a wonderful painting by Vancouver Island artist, Coco Jones shown here in her book, "Surviving Great Expectations". This stunning painting was sold last year and all proceeds went to the Tibetan earthquake cause. I have always loved her art because it appears spontaneous and carefree, full of humour and colour and a passion for life. As an artist I know that sometimes the appearance of spontaneity comes with great effort and care (and sometimes not). In reading Coco's book I am reminded that to experience the joy in life we have to be willing to move through our pain and suffering. There is no other way. We can't hide from it or pretend it doesn't exist. I can give first hand evidence that humming loudly or hiding around a corner only works for a very short time when dealing with the personal potholes of life.

What I am thinking about today is "Gladdening The Heart" and Coco's work does gladden my heart. Don't you love that string of words, gladdening the heart? Today when I read the post over at Oxherding called "Just Say No", again the idea of gladdening the heart came to mind. I have heard it a number of times in the Dharma talks, at the Vipassana group where I sit and last week I listened to several recorded Dharma talks here and was reminded how important this principle is to me. The basic premise is that life can get grim if we don't sometimes take action to "gladden the heart" to uplift ourselves, to count our blessings, to see how full our glass really is, to remind ourselves of our strengths (in a non ego centred kind of way).

Now I have been told that gratitude and a glad heart will arise out of practice and sometimes even for curmudgeons like me this is true but I find I need a little help. Otherwise the way can become a bit heavy slogging for me (get out the gumboots). I need to see my defilements and where I wallow in the hindrances. I need to be aware of my personal neurosis (my Jewish mother used to say: "we all have our own mishigas", which means craziness). But I feel ever so much lighter when I do a little metta practice or gratitude practice. Even though I know this self is not solid and fixed I need to remind myself that this swiss-cheese like self has strengths that are valuable. This gladdening of the heart offers me the steadiness and courage I need to make wholesome choices, especially when the going gets tough. If I am feeling dour or down, my choices tend to be less helpful.

So I invite you to gladden your heart, to say something nice to yourself and those around you, to think something uplifting, even if it's only, gosh isn't it nice today, I don't have a toothache. How will you gladden your heart?

The Zen of Home Renos

I could make excuses for being awol from the blogging world but what are excuses anyway? Justification, explanation, the whirring of monkey mind when we feel we should have done other than we did. Wisdom lies simply in acknowledging what is. I have been preoccupied sweeping and phoning and feeding the fabulous carpenter who is staying with us while he does some reno work in our new-to-us house. It felt comfortable to use a dear friend's brother, from another island, to tackle the long list of jobs we had for our new place, jobs that fell beyond our meager skill set.

So with some enthusiasm and a smidge of trepidation we invited someone we hadn't met and his two papillion puppies into our home to stay while he worked, putting in doors, taking out shower stalls and walls. It has worked out swimmingly. He is skilled and quick, good company and easy to get along with. I remember my Zen teacher saying when things went well: "it didn't have to be this way." In other words appreciate and feel grateful for what goes well and smoothly in your life. Too often we tend to ignore these things. We never think, "gee I am glad not to have a toothache!"

And as always there is Dharma in everything. I get to watch my habitual tendencies, the tendency to feel a bit on edge having someone I don't know around the house 24/7. And then when I remember, I remind myself to relax and just be the silly, foolish self that is me and to enjoy our new housemate with all his own fun and quirky details.

Not being a dog person I wondered about having 2 busy little dogs around the house and honestly they are fine, cute, quiet and well behaved. I even found them sleeping in front of the Buddha in the Zendo one afternoon. Before I could snatch a picture I had disturbed them and they got up. So I am learning new things. I remember the words of Patrul Rinpoche in "Words of My Perfect Teacher" when he lists the difficulties that sentient beings born into the animal realm have. I don't worry so much that they hop up on the blanket on the couch for a little snooze.

A small glitch in a wall that got opened up presented a problem and over dinner we came to a compromise solution on how it could be dealt with, not what I had hoped for, "but sure the easy way would be okay, I agreed." But when I awoke in the morning I knew it was not a comprise I wanted to make if at all possible. So over coffee I pursued an alternate solution, asking more questions and I found that I could get closer to the outcome (less wall, more open space) that I was looking for. It reminded me that kind and thoughtful perseverance is a good thing, that if something is important to you it is worth following every thread to the end. A big Dharma lesson for me over the years has been that, just because I decide on one thing in the evening, doesn't mean the issue can't be revisited the next morning. I tend to operate from "well I agreed to this, I need to stick to it." It has been a big lesson for me to learn, that I can change my mind, nothing is written in stone. You can always move from where you are.

And I could feel so much gratitude for our carpenter's cheerful ways and competence in his work. I feel very fortunate to have found such an easy, uncomplicated solution to the work that needed doing. And so while I have been simply leading an ordinary life doing mundane things like preparing 3 meals a day and sourcing material and gathering needed supplies, the day is filled with Dharma, the dharma of working with habitual tendencies and of feeling gratitude for an easy relationship with our skilled help. It is fun to prepare food for him as a sort of offering.

What Dharma are you finding these days in your ordinary life?

A Precious Human Life Meets Summer

Here's a new piece, 20"x 24". It's called Andy's Buddhas. I know you can guess why. Each little Buddha is wearing a verse from the Dhamapada and the bottom block of green has the words from "This Precious Life" by the Dalai Lama:

Every day, think as you wake up, Today I am fortunate to have woken up, I am alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it. I am going to use All my energies to develop myself, To expand my heart out to others, To achieve enlightenment for The benefit of all beings, I am going to have kind thoughts towards others, I am not going to get angry, Or think badly about others, I am going to benefit others As much as I can

Yesterday as I was hanging the laundry (a favourite meditation of mine) I felt this deep sense of being home, of true joy. I am generally a slightly grumbly type but this place just fills me with gratitude. Everything about it seems just right for me. There is privacy and quiet and a beautiful rural quality to the place. I can hang out in the garden. I can water the plants in my pyjamas with my hair standing in ways that would frighten small children. I can spend endless hours messing around with art materials. I have found placement for my art in several venues and the natives here seem uncannily friendly when you go into town.

I realized as I counted my blessings that these were all outward manifestations that could change at any time and that true equanimity comes from being okay with whatever comes up. This in fact deepens the gratitude and joy for me, knowing how special and fleeting such things can be. Appreciating and enjoying the small pleasures of life does not stand against knowing that our true essence lies somewhere deeper. The most "spiritual" beings I have met are filled with laughter and joy. They are also filled with faith and trust in what presents itself. My old Dharma teacher recently gave a talk on the Rolling Stones line: "You don't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you just might get what you need." Who knew the Rolling Stones were Dharma teachers?

So while the weather isn't overly cooperative in this part of the world we are enjoying the pleasures of summer. Yesterday we wandered a bit in the local Saturday market, picked a huge bowl of strawberries from the patch down by the pond. And following the lead of merci 33 I decided to sleep outside under the full moon. No matter I needed long underwear and a wool sweater. And I slept under the covered part of the deck so when the rain started at 3 in the morning I simply rolled over. The night air was filled with the sounds of frogs and the occasional hooting of owls. Yet at 3 in the morning silence had the upper hand. The moon moved in and out of the clouds and skirting along the tops of the fir trees.

What will you do to welcome this delicious, delicate, fleeting season?

Happy Gratitude Day

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It's Canada Day.  Should I have painted something red?  Perhaps a maple leaf or two?  Perhaps I should have painted them on myself and taken a picture?  Nah, I'm not into Nationalism although in an understated slightly Canadian way I might say this is a pretty nice place to live.  My friend the monk often says "we live in a diva realm" (not specific to this country), meaning that those of us living here in comfortable circumstances are very fortunate; no wars, no famine, no natural disaster, no political unrest and persecution.  It isn't that way for many people in this human realm.  We have the good fortune she says to have the means and the time and the interest to study the Dharma and that is truly good fortune.  But we tend to forget that and take it all for granted.  We breeze right over it and get down to the serious business of what's wrong with life, what's bugging us.  Maybe we should have a Gratitude Day instead of a Canada Day?  Or as well as?  (Holidays are good.)

Today we had the particular good fortune to take part in a Canada Day celebration.  It was impromptu and a surprise.  It's funny because I think I somehow saw the seed of it this morning as I stood in the grocery store line-up.  I was buying boring things like carrots and onions and nuts and as I snooped on the order behind me I saw a fancy cake with fruit and a little Canada flag and some cheese buns, a bag of chips, some pop and some twinkle lights with Canada flags on them.  Party food I thought, things I wouldn't buy and I felt the tug of nostalgia.

Later we stopped by my mother's to have a short visit  before heading out of town tomorrow for a few days.  It turned out there was a Canada Day barbecue happening a little earlier than the usual dinner hour.  As we sat and visited on the patio, dinner preparations began.  And when the young woman server came to find out what everyone wanted she cajoled us into staying for dinner (even though we didn't have the required dinner tickets for guests).  So we sat outside in the lovely breezeless afternoon (that's a good thing in here in this cooler part of the world) and ate party food.  Veggie burgers for us vegetarians and potato salad and little bags of potato chips and Canada Day cake and cherries.  There was this lovely summer picnic feel to it.  Staff had brought their families and the usually empty patio was filled with life and Beatles music.  The two cooks manned the outdoor grill and other staff delivered drinks and burgers.  We even sang "Oh Canada" and I have to say it's been so long that we were stumbling over the changes that have been made since we sang it in grade school (we also used to sing God Save The Queen!  eek!) 

I think it was fun because it was unexpected and so different from anything we would ever plan to do, but in this strange way it was really heart warming and lovely.  It seemed so quintessentially summer and so strangely celebratory.  There was the lovely feeling of just sitting and being; enjoying the sun and the company and people watching.  We sat with several of my mother's friends and maybe it was a truly Canadian conversation because we talked about the noisy crows checking out the meal and then the conversation turned to some raccoons that have been visiting our backyard and then stories of otters and bears told by one of our table mates.  Someone even mentioned Tim Horton's!

So it can be very interesting where we find those small bits of delight and joy, wedged snugly between the custard in a Canada Day cake or wafting along the draughts of barbecue smoke, or just sitting under the oak trees in the company of the over 80 set.  No one"s in a hurry, no one feels the need to impress or make idle chit chat.  It reminds me of a book title which I love,  "The Unbearable Lightness of Being"  I think I know what he means now.  Happy Gratitude Day!  (It's got to start somewhere.)

The Attitude of Gratitude

The morning started with the sound of rain pelting against the bedroom windows.  It was still dark and the predicted  weather for the week was coming in on cue, rain, rain and more rain.  The early ferry from Vancouver was cancelled due to high winds.  Seemed good to pull the covers up a little higher and snuggle in for a few more minutes. 

But by the time I opened the curtains it was a different world.  The sun was shining and the streets drying.  So after a long, cold winter there was something in the morning that called us out to play.  And we were not disappointed.

It was with real gratitude that we walked along the ocean path in the wind free, sun drenched morning, feeling gratitude for the simple pleasure of a pleasant walk on a warm day.  No hat required, no chin down facing into the wind.  Nothing special, nothing dramatic, just a nice day and the good fortune to live somewhere safe and beautiful and to have a body that could participate in a walk.  It seemed apparent that many dogs and their humans were also feeling grateful for the day (do  dogs feel gratitude?)

Ah gratitude. .... In this case gratitude was inspired by outer circumstances, the awareness and acknowledgement of something pleasant .  But it is possible to meet the same day with a grumble, that it's about time the weather changed , that until now it has been so crummy and yada, yada, yada.  So what is gratitude?  It seems like a feeling that arises.  It might be in response to outer circumstances, the weather, someone, something of beauty, some experience or place but I think it can just arise in us, just as a recognition, a general gratefulness for what is.  Perhaps some people are more inclined toward gratitude, the same way as some people see the glass half full?

I would say that I was not born with the  gratitude spoon in my mouth and it has only been through the refining of my practice that I have come to realize the importance of cultivating gratitude.  Last year I felt called to take James Baraz's course  "Awakening Joy" and focus on the positive aspects of practice.  One of these was gratitude.  During the course one of the speakers talked about "the attitude of gratitude".  Other speakers talked about practices that incline the mind toward gratitude.  We can't force gratitude but we can cultivate it.  One suggestion was a gratitude journal, where you write at the end of each day about the things you felt grateful for.  Another woman spoke of a practice where she sends a short email to a friend each evening and names 5 things she was grateful for each day.  She talked about how this caused her to be scanning her environment during the day for things that made her grateful and in this way she oriented herself  toward gratitude and in turn built and strengthened the gratitude muscle.

So what did I feel grateful for today?   I was reminded of gratitude by the warmth of the first Springlike day, the fact that I could at my own free will go out for a walk, then putter some in the garden, gratitude for living somewhere so beautiful, gratitude for the friendly clerk in the hardware store, a call from a friend I haven't heard from in a while.  And how about you?  Can you find 5 things you felt truly grateful for today?

Grumbling Mind Meets Grateful Mind

Today I got to look at grumbling mind.  It was not big grumbling, but more a series of little grumbles .... the barking dog, the truck parked across the driveway from the house next door, the cat scratching the couch again and yada yada yada ....

 And by the time I headed out to do the too many errands in too little time I was grumpy for no good reason.  I  added "my grumpiness"  to the list of  what was wrong and then went Bingo! "what IS wrong with this picture?"  As kids we used to hear "it's all in the way you hold your mouth." And as I told my partner this he said maybe it should be "it's all in the way you hold your mind."

As we drove to pick up a cake and birthday gift for my mother on a fine day, in a fine city, where we are both well and want for nothing,  I remembered that in the "Awakening Joy" course  I took last year, Jane Baraz talked about the gratitude journal she keeps.  "I should do that." I said.  It would orient me to look at the good things in my life, rather than the habitual tendency to face in the direction of the small irritations.  It would be a helpful way to build wholesome mind habits rather than just slop into lazy complaining mind.  

There has been lots written about gratitude lately.  Brain researcher and Buddhist practitioner, Rick Hanson (from wisebrain.org) talks about the fact that the mind is inclined to give more attention to the negative .... This apparently is based on our origins as hairless little creatures out on the savannas where we needed to sit up and pay attention to the negative to survive.  The blissful were weeded out in the evolutionary process.  For this reason it takes a concerted turning of the mind toward gratitude to encourage a positive mental outlook.  We need to "grasp our will" as my friend the Zen monk calls it and look up, instead of down.  In Kosho Uchiyama's book that I'm reading called  "Opening the Hand Of Thought" he says, "You should always bear in mind that all sentient beings are suffering. Everyone is fretting about something inside their head.  That is why we practice."  And so as part of this practice I will choose to cultivate a little patch of gratitude.  I have the seeds, right here.  All I need to do is scratch a little place for them in the mental terrain, add a little water and watch for something to sprout.  I can taste the fresh flavour of gratitude already.  What are you grateful for today?