Getting A Big, Free Unusual Happy Life

Small Abstract in matte 11"x14"

For my birthday I got myself a big new free happy unusual life! Nice of me, don't you think? I've been wanting this for quite some time now but every year I forget. Mostly I am never quite sure where to get this, what it looks like and if I can afford it.  Can you think of a better gift, really?  You might even want this yourself?  Oh, did I mention it's a book? By Nina Wise. No I forgot, well memory's not what it used to be and there are up sides to that. The book is subtitled "self-expression and spiritual practice for those who have time for neither" It is my good fortune to have time for both, but still the book appeals.

I like to think of a birthday the same way I think of the turning of the year on January 1st.  Our birth was a new year for us as we inhaled our first breath and this is the anniversary of it. I like to think of my birthday as a time of re-orientation and reflection, a time to consider where I might  go from here, to consider and set intentions, instead of just stumbling along the well worn ruts or reciting the lines of my life by rote. And always with a nod to the bigger picture and the fact that life may have other plans for me.

And of course more than anything, a birthday is a time to be grateful for life so far.  The normal inclination is to pick at what remains undone like some small sore, to notice what doesn't please and what we wish we hadn't done. But there is a moratorium on this line of thinking that comes accompanied by a bar of chocolate (it's a party, right?). This is a time of celebration, don't you think? We tend, in our busyness, in our usual state of partial awareness to forget the essence of these defining moments. Someone bakes a cake, someone buys us a gift, we get a few phone calls, maybe have a nice dinner but the deeper essence of it scuttles along the ocean floor of our lives. I say, get out the Zen pom poms and do a little cheer, shout into the forest. What is the sound of one more year passing? Which way are we pointing ourselves, deeper into the forest or craning, like a wise seedling toward the light?

This year my dharma radar has picked up some previously hidden hot spots.  The power of our minds and how we can train them  in more wholesome ways of being has been an important aspect of practice this year.  A retreat, a general tiredness of the landscape of fear and the book the Buddha's Brain were all auspicious opportunities, pointing me in this direction. I have spent some time just being with worry and fear, getting a taste of their particular flavour in the body and then watching them move through time and again like little dust storms of angst. Seeing how these emotions pull like twisted stitches on the fabric of my days has been sobering.  Seeing that I have a choice to sew a different stitch has made all the difference.  The power of the mind led me to consider  the energy of intention and its cultivation. Like any year, this one has been rich with opportunity to wake up. I like to think that the keel of my little boat has balanced a little more evenly and steadily this turn around the pond (even if I don't have both oars in the water all the time). I have been reminded of the preciousness of this human life by some brave souls which has encouraged me to consider how I really want to spend my time.

So in the tradition of the native people of this land who give gifts when they hold a celebration, I would like to invite anyone who would like a small trinket of art to send me their snail mail address and I will pop a little something in the mail to you. It seems a fitting way to hold a party.

And here are few of the treasures that have come to live with me and give me great delight, bring beauty to my eyes and  and inspire me.

By Jeane Myers

by Juana Almaguer (Gallery Juana on etsy)

Tag by Leslie Avon Miller 

Arranging Deck Chairs On The Titanic

At our weekend retreat the Saturday night Dharma talk was about happiness. Now this was pretty exciting for me because the Dharma circles I've traveled in never gave much airtime to happiness. So I was all ears, even though I was exhausted. I particularly liked the analogy that if we are looking to outside circumstances to make us happy "we are simply arranging deck chairs on the titanic". At some point it's going down. Now as Basil Faulty would say, to most Dharma practitioners this is the "bleeding obvious". But we don't always act this way. It was referred to as the "if only" syndrome. Now for me it's often, if only my health were better, if only I trusted life more. We all have our "go to" "if onlys", little fences of lists that we erect between ourselves and happiness. Mostly we hardly notice these little fences, even if we keep on bumping into them and coming back bruised and torn every time.

The Dharma talk began with something like, "the point of practice is happiness". The happiness referenced here is not the woo hoo, manic let's party, happiness or the "lets put on our rose coloured glasses and pretend everything's perfect" kind of happiness. It is a quieter state, perhaps contentment, equanimity describe it best. Happiness can be such a tricky word. And how do we approach this happiness? My recollections of the talk are most likely incomplete but it seems worth giving it a go.

Being present, being with what is, is an integral part of this happiness. We're not arguing with what is, we are not conflicted, we are just here for it. This also implies a state of relaxation, a state of relaxing into the present moment, relaxing into our bodies. When we're relaxed every cell in our body can breath a little sigh of relief. How much more complete can it be than every cell in our body? We trust in what unfolds.

Generosity towards ourselves and others is an important aspect of happiness. Generosity is a three fold gift. We feel good when we contemplate a generous act, when we actually do it, and then afterwards when we recall it. Three for the price of one, happiness is such a bargain, oi!

Sila or morality was noted as an aspect of happiness. When we behave with blamelessness we have no regrets and our actions don't come back to haunt us as in "the ghost of Christmas past" kinds of ways.

So that's the bedtime story for tonight, kids! Be happy! Be happy now!

Rejoicing

I am reading a lovely little book by Dzigar Kongtrul, called "Light Comes Through". Seemed an appropriate title for Solstice, don't you think? I also thought it was seasonally appropriate as he talks about the practice of rejoicing. Rejoicing he says is the antidote to jealousy. He suggests jealousy is the grossest of emotions, so easy to see, so it is the easiest to work with. "The jealous mind", he says, "wants what others have, be it physical attributes, wealth, intelligence, someone else's spouse, their job, status, spiritual accomplishments, and so on. Because it focuses on what it doesn't have, it feels impoverished and discontented all the time."

Personally I like the idea of an antidote. Take some poison, how about an antidote? We used to talk about this in the Zen tradition I sat with. They did not actively work with the mind in this way. There were a number of us who asked, well if you have unwholesome habits of mind, don't you need to retrain the mind? Dzigar Kongtrul responds to this by saying, "jealousy is habitual, which means that even though we have investigated the harm it can do and the merits of overcoming it -- even if we are completely convinced -- it will still rise up again out of habit.... Rejoicing is simply feeling happy when something fortunate or beneficial happens to someone other than ourselves...We can find so many ways to rejoice and so many things to rejoice in.... we simply share in the joy of others' virtue... When someone becomes a vegetarian (yay) or donates money to a charitable organization we can rejoice... We can also rejoice in the beauty of the world... We need to ask ourselves, "Why does it always have to be my joy? Why is it so hard to delight in the joy of others? The positivity of rejoicing practice releases within us the qualities of intelligence, selflessness, generosity, patience, strength, and good-heartedness... We use this practice to deliberately shape the mind to work for us."

At this time of year in many ways there is a turning toward this generosity of spirit so it seems the perfect time (but isn't anytime?) to engage in the practice of rejoicing. And if we turn our mind in this direction, it becomes apparent how much there is on the horizon or right in front of our pointy little noses (speaking to the pointy nosed little self) to rejoice in. I often notice how my mood is altered when I make a slightly disparaging comment about someone or something. Energetically I can feel how life force is depleted instead of life enhanced. So here is an opportunity to approach things from the other side of the proverbial pasture and rejoice, to support the life force by rejoicing. What will you rejoice in today?

String For Your Finger & Gold Mining in Tibet

I am just unravelling a little metaphorical string for your finger, if you live in the Victoria area. Zendotstudio is warming the apple cider and setting out the treats for Sunday's Open House & Art Sale. Hope to see you there!

Some new work is on display, and some great studio clear-out treats, as are some custom Buddha Boxes for a happy customer that bought 4 last year and wanted some more for this Christmas. It was her great idea last year to use 4 similar 6x6 paintings and give one to each friend. This year she has requested 6 for her sisters and friends.

It's an interesting way of joining and connecting people together with small hand made treasures. I thought it was a brilliant idea. Two good friends and myself have bought the same scarves (different colours) when shopping together but I haven't done it as an intentional way of joining friends together through gift giving. Kind of like each person has a piece of the puzzle. I love it because it expresses the sentiments of generosity, kindness and acknowledges the connection that we have to each other.

On that note we went to hear the second talk by a young Buddhist teacher last night. He spoke about loosening the grip of self centredness that we have and practicing generosity and loving kindness. He also talked about working with our habit of choosing comfort. His talks are based on a text by Dodrupchen Jikme Tenpe Nyima. The written handout exhibits the depth and breadth of the teaching. We get to experience first hand the courage and equanimity of this young man who has only been speaking English for 5 years and often consults us listeners for help with words.

We have heard some interesting and heart tugging stories of his life in Tibet and his ongoing commitment in working for the Tibetan cause. We have learned a little about the history and geography of Tibet: all the stories you might expect to learn from the news outlets but don't. Last night he spoke briefly about how several Canadian companies are working with the Chinese to extract gold from Tibet. He talked about how the villagers have been displaced and now have no place to grow food and means to look after themselves. We never hear these stories on the evening news. He used the story as an example of how when business and self centred interests are used as the bottom line, we can cause harm to others, either wittingly or unwittingly.

And even though you could feel the deep sadness that he felt for Tibet's plight, you never once sensed animosity. He said he approaches protests not in the spirit of hating the Chinese but in the spirit of wanting the Chinese Government to recognized the Tibetan's as human beings. It was interesting to see how he balanced his political activism with the Dharma.

We will hear his last talk next Thursday before he heads off to Nepal to visit his teacher who is 90 and unwell.

Buddha's Auction

Just a little reminder that The Shambhala Sun On-line Auction officially kicks off today with lots of great goodies. Proceeds go to supporting a worthwhile spiritual publication. Check it out at http://www.cmarket.com/auction/item/Item.action?id=99536033

Well we can think of desire and attachment to stuff or we can think of generosity and the spirit of giving. Or maybe we can be like a juggler and hold all of these in our mind at the same time. Or maybe we can just be in the present moment with the colour and words and the clicking of the keyboard, perhaps the fragrance of the cup of tea that is keeping us company. As my Zen teacher always says, "We have more options than we think."

Opportunities For Generosity

I can't remember specifically why but yesterday I started thinking about generosity. And then I did that very human thing. I started thinking of all the ways I am not very generous. Then I realized how this made me feel. Next thought went something twisted like "well how ungenerous you are to yourself to point out how ungenerous you are. Sheesh! In seconds I was tangled up like some mutant pretzel, all I needed was a little salt for the wounds.

As I watched my little pretzel self I remembered an article I'd read on creativity. It said when they'd done research on what separated the creative folks from the non creative ones, it was, simply, that creative people believed they were creative. Non creative people believed they were not creative. Hmmm. So maybe if I believe I'm generous, I will be more generous. So I tried this on, like a size 10 pair of shoes. I thought about all the occasions I have been generous, instead of the other way around. That felt better but still had an oddness about it. It felt so I, me, my, if you know what I mean.

So as I sat this morning it came to me. Generosity. It doesn't need a subject. It doesn't need a verb. It doesn't need to be "I " am generous". There doesn't need to be a me doing it. If I am going to focus my attention on it, it simply needs to be "generosity". I can immerse myself in a sense of generosity. It really is all around us, all the time, in many and varied forms.

And a funny thing happened as I contemplated generosity. The door bell rang and the post person had a package I needed to sign for. "It's even for you" she said (usually the packages are for the downstairs neighbour). "It's from Thailand and they only opened it once," she teased. I sort of knew then what the package contained. Colin from Spaces & Lines had sent me a beautiful pencil sketch of a Buddha (as a thank-you, he had said, for inspiring him to start his own art blog) and friend, Marcus had added a beautiful sacred Buddha textile from Waht Suthat as a treat. So it was like Christmas morning as I opened the package with all it's little additions and cards and even the beautiful Thai lettering on the envelope and the exotic postage stamp. So how's that for an experience of generosity! I hung my Red Cloth Buddha on my studio door and propped the gorgeous Buddha sketch on my cutting table and happily got down to work. Thanks guys for the Treasures! Bows to you both. What shear delight to get snail mail filled with Buddhist goodies.

The air filled with the smell of incense and generosity as I worked away on a new painting. As I contemplated it some more it seemed to me that kindness and compassion and generosity are all really one. And it struck me that rather than thinking of the ways we are ungenerous we might think of them as new opportunities to practice generosity. That seemed much more generous.

Generosity, Friends & Right Speech

In what seems like a former lifetime I made and sold handmade cards. As I finished up some things surrounding my mother's death I decided to give cards of thanks to the ladies my mother sat with in the dining room at the assisted living building where she lived. When I went to check my tray for cards I found the perfect ones. There were three cards that used old photos of my mother as a young woman. They were miraculously all "friendship cards". So they were perfect to give to the ladies as thanks for the friendship they offered my mother. One of these cards is badly photographed here! The quote on it says "Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and wait to hear the answer."

The quote reminded me of the Buddhist idea of "right speech". It reminded me to be quiet when I delivered these cards and just listen a bit; not to jump in so quickly with a reply. I think generally we talk too much or maybe I should make that, generally I talk too much. The quote was a good reminder. Recently I read somewhere that any conversation about someone who is not present is gossip. This seemed a bit harsh but over the next few days I watched myself. I was a bit astounded at how often I mentioned other people in conversation (not maliciously). My daughter is doing this or how is so and so doing? And on and on. Hmmm maybe next on the agenda would be to try a day with no mention of anyone not present. I suspect my jaw will have a restful day!

Last night courtesy of my mother I spent a delightful hour with a woman I didn't know was a Buddhist. My mother left a little something to a woman who used to do some home care and cleaning for her. I looked her up, called her and then dropped by with the gift. My mother always felt a special connection to this woman. She was warm and kind and caring and cooked a mean Vietnamese noodle dish that we used to slurp up with gusto if we dropped by on the right day. When I visited her in her home she had a small altar in the kitchen and that started our conversation on Buddhism. When I told her I was interested in Buddhism she quickly went and retrieved some books she had from the Temple she has attended for the last 30 years, one of them called "A Rose For Your Pocket" by Thich Nhat Hanh which is all about mothers and their importance. Another one is called "The Buddhist Doctrine of Life After Death" . "This will help you not be so sad about your mother's death," she offered. It was a lovely visit filled with tea and Vietnamese cookies and a chat that felt like one between old friends. I left with 4 little books on Buddhism and an orchid which she insisted I take. "Think of your mother when you look at it," she said which seemed such a lovely generous offer. She told me briefly of her coming to Canada 30 years ago as a "boat person" and how hard her journey had been. I left feeling I was the recipient of more gifts than I had bestowed. It is interesting how even though my mother is gone, her presence is still strongly felt through the actions I am happy to carry out on her behalf; this little visit that was so heartwarming was courtesy of her. And on this occasion and in another instance I got to feel the delight of generosity in disbursing gifts that my mother had left to others. Even though she is gone from this world her presence still radiates through these gestures of generosity.

So long and thanks for the chicken leg

First of all I would like to give a heartfelt thank-you to Beth at Indienorth who featured 3 pieces of my art and gave me the nicest write-up yesterday.  I discovered her site by merrily clicking down the road (like Dorothy I'm not in Kansas anymore), following  a comment left on an article I wrote for CanArtisan by Laura Bucci (who makes awesome linen pouches and things) to discover indienorth.  Now if you know me, you just know I'm going to tie this into the Dharma.  And not because I'm stretching things that don't really fit (oh, oh whose been into the organic dark chocolate?) but because if you look at this, it's the modern day, internet version of  "we are all connected', by a thin, invisible electronic thread,  We are all dependent on each other in some way, which in very simplistic terms describes the rather complex Buddhist topic of "dependent origination."  And as a small digression, a local Rinzai monk just wrote a wonderful blog on dependent origination the other day.

The other aspect of Dharma which Beth at Indienorth illustrates is the spirit of generosity, of thinking of others,  in that she spends some time almost everyday featuring different artists and their work. She is not out there screaming, "look at me, come to my shop, buy something, buy something from me."

I sometimes hear it said that there is alot of "calling out" on blogs and websites and people saying inappropriately rude, harsh or insulting things to each other.  Over at Dangerous Harvest Blog, Nathan wrote a really good post on this and a great discussion ensued.  But this has not been my experience of the blogging and internet venues I have encountered since my arrival in this strange land in December/08.  My experience of it has been that it's a pretty generous, friendly place.  I visit mostly Buddhist sites, art sites and handmade art/craft venues, so my experience is specific and somewhat limited I admit.  

But I am blown away by the willingness of people to share and help in the both the art world and the Buddha's world, to help promote and link and support each other.  Now as artists we could all be standing in our little corners, eyeing each other suspiciously as competition, but frankly I haven't smelled a whiff of "eau de me cologne" anywhere in my travels.  And as we know when we try hard to have a sincere practice, nothing makes you feel more shrivelled and withered and truly tired than focusing only on what "I" want and need.

As I write this I am sitting in what feels like a heavenly abode, on a spacious deck in a Quadra Island home exchange watching a Toni Onley mountainscape  fade from pink and blue to grey and black.  A few tall pines frame a plexi-glass sheet of ocean, backed by darkening mountains.  We have been wandering the stony beaches in unheard of 28 degree sunshine here and exploring the island.  We have fed raw chicken legs to Eagles (eek! at the request of our hosts) and been awed by the force of that  swoop  as they flash by to grab dinner for their little ones.  But we have also been surprised at the shyness and caution of these giant birds who purportedly can knab a small dog on the beach. We are not the only complex and contradictory species on this planet.  So I shall retire from this glowing screen to watch the final descent of darkness as it comes in for it's evening landing.  May your day be this pleasant and peaceful.

Etsy, Blogging And Acts of Generosity

I am thinking about generosity today.  It is one of the ten perfections in Buddhism.  My heart was warmed last night as I cruised the internet.  Can you believe that?  I was kinda surprised myself.   Mostly on the internet I expect to find enough information to make my head burst open but I'd never really thought of it as a place to experience generosity.

When I first joined etsy and the blogging world in December, I was bowled over by the creativity that's out there.  Not only was creativity alive and well in this age of mediocrity it seemed boundless.  Maybe the world wasn't go to hell in a hand basket as my mother likes to tell me.

My first experience of  computer generated generosity came from some of the forums on etsy, where people with lots of knowledge about etsy were sharing it freely with "newbies" like me.  Then I found Timothy Adam's websites, including Handmadeology which struck me as both clever and generous.  This guy has built up a wealth of knowledge over the years selling his gorgeous metal art on line and he has websites dedicated to sharing this info and promoting other artists.  Now, sure it helps his sales (this is called 'enlightened self interest' in Buddhism) but it is also an act of generosity.  He doesn't have to do this.  In fact some people might think they were better off if they kept all their hard won knowledge to themselves.  Does Walmart offer free 'How To' tips to the little corner hardware store on how to run it's business?  But  Adam has figured out a  win/win way to do business.  He shares.  People visit his sites.  He makes a living doing what he loves.  We're all wiser and happier.  And a new cooperative paradigm for making a living evolves.

Sylvia Boorstein in her book "Pay Attention, For Goodness" Sake" says this about generosity:  "Generous acts are a relief because they connect. They are always in relationship. They can't be isolating.  And generous acts don't require some thing to give away.  I understand the Buddha's statement "We all have something we could give away" as including in addition to material possessions --companionship, comfort, encouragement and care."

So Adam is offering encouragement and care.  As are the people who have created the "Sneak Attack" on Etsy.  I saw the title on a forum and had to check it out.  What the heck is a sneak attack, I wondered.  Sounds kind of like a swarming.  Well it is, but it's a swarming of generosity!  On the sneak attack website, they post an etsy seller who is new and/ or has low sales and as many people as choose to, go and sneak up on the seller at an appointed time and buy stuff from them.  Now how cool and generous is that.  This is real empathy combined with action ... the will to offer encouragement and support to people you don't even know, who you understand through your own similar experience, are probably feeling a bit down at the mouth.  Another tenet of Buddhism is exhibited here, recognizing that we're all the same.  If I suffer, I can expect that you experience suffering as well.

Then I discovered the "Etsy Stalker" whose byline is "where internet stalking is a good thing".  The esty stalkers find sites that they like and promote them on their website.  This helps visibility, traffic and sales for the "stalked" and gives some profile to the stalkers as well.  Needless to say another creative two headed act of generosity.  There are other people out there on the forums doing similar things and many I'm sure I have yet to discover.

I do find the artists I've encountered on the blogs and etsy a most generous bunch, willing to share artistic tips and knowledge and marketing info.  It's a whole different business and living paradigm. .... creating a kinder more generous business environment.  Like Buddhism that says hey, we're all in this human experience together; I get the same feeling, for the most part from the  handmade movement .   We're all in this together, let's support each other.  Lots of bartering and hearting and generous ratings go on.   

And the final words go to the Buddha:  "Generosity brings happiness at every stage of its expression.  We experience joy in forming the intention to be generous.  We experience joy in the actual act of giving something.  And we experience joy in remembering the fact that we have given."   Pass it on.