How To Make Peace

I received this lovely little peace card from fellow blogger, Suki whose aim it is to send messages of peace out into the world one little card at a time. And the card is as beautiful as the idea. It reminded me that we change the world in tiny ways by our actions. Receiving the card brightened my day, making it I imagine brightened Suki's and might have been a meditative act. And then there is the simple pleasure of generosity.

As we are often reminded in practice, we change the world one person at a time, that person being ourselves. We are really the only person we can change and that change radiates outward into the world. We may think things like friendly chit chat at the coffee shop are small and inconsequential but what if everyone did this, all day long, might the world be a different place? Yesterday the young woman at the cash desk in the local health food store said to me: "Remember when you gave us a ride (lots of hitchhiking still happens here on the island) and we were talking about Vipassana, we went home that night and signed up to do another 10 day Goenka retreat." A simple case of we never know what the other person will do as a result of our interaction. Also a sobering reminder when our exchanges are fueled by anger or greed.

It is easy to think that sometimes our meditation practice isn't going anywhere. The mind still wanders, our early expectations about practice have been tossed aside in favour of no expectations at all. But when we look at the small differences in how we relate to the world we can see the impact practice makes on our lives. Over the years we may find we choose our words more carefully or even choose to say no words at all sometimes. Maybe we are not in such a hurry all of the time or we are kinder to our sister-in-law who drives us a bit crazy. It is the many small actions that make up our day and ultimately our lives.

In "Being Peace" Thich Nhat Hanh says: "Every day we do things, we are things, that have to do with peace. If we are aware of our lifestyle, our way of consuming, of looking at things, we will know how to make peace right in the moment we are alive, the present moment. When we pick up the Sunday newspaper, for instance, we may be aware that it is a very heavy edition, maybe three or four pounds. To print such a paper, a whole forest may be needed. When we pick up the paper, we should be aware, If we are very aware, we can do something to change the course of things"

It Doesn't Matter What You Do

My daughter, who is in her late '20's is trying to decide what to do next with her life.  (Aren't we all in some way?)  And I have come to realize that my role as a parent doesn't lie in telling her what to do, but in helping her find new and helpful ways to think about her life.  Sometimes when it seems appropriate I make a little offering.  

The other day I was reading some material from an online Buddhist course I took last year called "Awakening Joy".  A little piece made me think of her.  It was written by the Spirit Rock Buddhist teacher, James Baraz and went like this "When I was younger I faced a crossroads in my life... I didn't know what to do and was afraid of making the wrong decision.  I went to a wise psychic, Reverend Miller...($5 a reading!).  He said that although he wouldn't tell me what to do he did have one piece of advice: it doesn't matter.  My initial response was, "What do you mean it doesn't matter?!   That's my life you're talking about!"  He told me that as long as I was paralyzed with fear over making the wrong decision the benevolent forces of life... couldn't help me along in my journey."  

The full quote I sent my daughter was a bit longer than this but basically it speaks to the issues of faith and movement. We do the best we can and then have faith.  We can't, with our little minds figure it out, no matter how hard we try.  At some point we have to give up that sense of control and take the leap.  It is so easy to be paralyzed by fear and indecision.  I have spent many years living in that little dark house myself so I am well acquainted with it's cobwebbed corners.  And yet only we can open that door and walk out.  I can only knock on her proverbial door and suggest that the weather outside is really quite nice.  

At some point we must draw on our courage.  And I have come to realize that a big part of practice is having courage, to take a step, to say something in a situation where I might normally opt for comfort and quiet.  There is such momentum and energy (chi as traditional Chinese medicine calls it) in taking a step, moving out of the stagnation, the sleepy comfort of inaction that many of us spend our lives in.  We can do it in small ways or big ways and as we do we build new and wholesome habitual tendencies.  We eek out new neural pathways in our brain and ultimately we become a little bit more alive.  We experience the richness of life.  So as I sent off my email I realized as I so often do, that what I was thinking about and saying were things that I needed to hear myself.

In December in the spirit of doing something different and moving the energy, I hosted my first open house/art sale.  I got to see, first hand, how moving a little energy  built on itself.  I found that things that had formerly seemed like a big deal could be done with a light touch and  a "let's see what happens" attitude.  As a result several  pieces of my art work found their way to the e Art Gallery of Greater Victoria's  Christmas show and another few pieces made the trip to another small gallery.  So here's to moving some energy.  And with the beginning of the lunar new year, what better time to rededicate ourselves to this task!

Action & Re-Action

The other night I watched a 25 year old video on Youtube of Anthony De Mello, a Catholic priest.  I was completely blown away by two things.  One how wonderfully clear and to the point he was and how much it sounded like the Dharma.

It was forwarded to me by a friend with a serious Buddhist practice (I don't know if she'd actually call herself a "Buddhist") whose son has become a practicing (baptised) Christian.  This has lead her to an exploration of Christianity.  Ah the world is an interesting place.  In my generation it was the opposite, parents raising an eyebrow (or more) about their kids embracing Buddhism.

De Mello's message is wonderfully simple.  If you think that other people, situations or circumstances make you happy, you are wrong.  It is OUR reaction to what is happening that generates the feeling....  It's simple, but not easy.  All we have to do is change how we see things and as he points out this could take 2 minutes or 25 years... to change the focus of that internal lens that we see things through.  

Newsflash: the buck stops here!  We don't have to change anyone or anything, just how we see things.  Always we are responsible for our own happiness.  That's the good news and the bad news all rolled into one.  It took me a long time to see this and if you've been reading this blog much you've probably guessed this message was not brought to me by Proctor and Gamble but by my mother.

So how do we do this?  Well the Dharma always points back to the same little formula for me.  First I must be aware of what's going on.  So if I'm running along at top speed on autopilot I'm definitely gonna miss it when my mind swerves off the highway and hits the ditch of "everything would be okay if only..... "  So number 1.  I must be aware.   Number 2 - I must be willing.  If I don't want to take responsibility or do something differently I am going to be pulled in the direction of the old story.  I am going to want and want and want some more for things to be different than they are (the secret formula for suffering)  I'm gonna wallow in the drama and story.  So if I find myself willing (and this may be conscious or not) I can grasp my will, that is make the colossal effort to do something differently.  (Remember the definition of insanity?  Doing the same thing and expecting different results)  That's #3.  Making the effort.  Number 4 is the  action, instead of the reaction.  I have to turn my mind to a new way of seeing the person, the situation or simply tell myself "I have a choice here."  It's an experiment in the ol' life lab.  No big deal.  Maybe I get it right.  Maybe not quite right.  Maybe I see how I can adjust for next time.  But I am no longer  caught in the mindless dance of action -re-action.  I am on to a new dance - the Zen tango.

The acrylic painting at the top is part of a series I call "Zen Squared".   The words "Explore The Other Edge" well now that's your koan!