Be Silently Drawn

"Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love.  It will not lead you astray" -Rumi

I am using a tiny imaginary wood burning tool to etch these delicate words into my brain before heading into the quiet  heart of fall.  As I sat, nestled in the small nook of a cedar tree the other day, listening to the ravens discuss their fall plans I considered mine.  The cool, still air of fall is one of my favourite things.  Renewal, new work, pumpkin soup; these are the offerings of this new season that I am looking forward to.

I will surface like a diver from the pool of summer that was filled with gardening and visitors and a little travel.  Summer has such energy.  I am tired of it now.  I welcome the quiet, focused energy of fall.  There is a different kind of doing that comes with fall.  A few visitors have noted that fall feels like the real beginning of the new year.

And while my summer was filled with many things, my studio mostly lay silent and closed.  I am taking the approach that things have been percolating below the surface, rather than going down the rabbit hole of regret and self recrimination.  As the weather dampens and the lion's share of weeding and reshaping an old garden are behind me, the garden no longer calls me out of bed in the morning.

So "the strange pull of what I love" calls to me now.  I will follow it, without assumption as much as I can.  I want to sit in front of a canvas with no expectation, with no judgement, with a simple silent presence.  I want to fall quietly into the underground cave of exploration and creation.  I want to move through that space in such a way that hope and fear do not stick to me.  This is my fall destination. It will not take many steps, no planes or trains, but I hope to travel miles from where I am now.  In my little carry on case I will pack some carefully folded trust and wrinkle free faith; trust in a benevolent universe and faith in my ability to learn from it.  Where will "the strange pull of what you love" take you this fall?

Welcome Your "Guests"

I am hoping you all have bad memories and think you haven't seen this little collage before! Another nice Dharma talk by Heather Martin at the Gate House last night. The part that resonated deeply for me had to do with having unconditional friendliness toward what she called "the defilements". I am more familiar with them as the 5 hindrances (remember Buddhism is the religion of lists, not to be confused with making a religion of lists). And I am definitely familiar with the unsuccessful and wasted effort involved in trying to push them away. And the delusion in thinking that experiences these arisings makes me somehow "faulty" or a bad practitioner.

We are all familiar with these hindrances:

desire (which has a range, including rejecting)

anger or ill will

sloth & torpor

agitation, restlessness, worry

doubt

She reminded us to look deeply inside when these things arise, get familiar with them. Our usual inclination is to look at the object of the feelings. We focus on the person who made us angry, the source of our worry. She suggested that we might view them all as visitors, not laden with the heavy self ownership we can imbue them with. And she reminded us of the lovely Rumi poem called "The Guest House" that I will leave you with. Now go forth and attend with loving kindness to your guests!

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

~ Rumi ~