Friday, June 11, 2010

Dharma Demons & A Trauma To The Head

I have been awol from the blogging world this week. If I had to write a note to the teacher it might look something like this: "Carole has been absent this past week because of a severe trauma to the head. She incurred this while trying to build an iweb site and register a domain name. She is still a bit dizzy and more stunned than usual so please excuse her from gym class."

Anyway the end result of banging my head against the internet is that you can visit and see an online portfolio which may be useful to me for more purposes than knocking myself silly.

I have noticed a couple of Dharma demons who visited me this week. The first one is what I would call an "habitual tendency", a term used by my Zen teacher. Over at Full Contact Enlightenment she links to an article which describes our "emotional signature" (which sounds a lot like habitual tendency). Don't you love that term, emotional signature? So we can say to friends, "Oh yes I signed that little drama we had yesterday with my emotional signature. Do you like the little flourish on the s or the way I always forget to dot the i?" No, not so much?" Anyway check out this piece by Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche, it is a very interesting read. And looks like he has a book coming out this fall called "Rebel Buddha". I love that title. I don't get too attached to words do I?

But I have digressed. Remember the Dharma demon I referred to a few thousand words back? My partner got sick, either a touch of the flu or food poisoning or something like that, on Monday. Well for me, a little alarm button goes off, all whiny, a fearsome little buzzer that goes something like: oh no, I hope I don't get this. I always catch everything. I don't want to be sick. I hate being sick. I will probably catch this, I always do." says she who has been shell-shocked by a number of illnesses in her adult life. I recognized the little refrain right away and immediately called in the mind to do a little remedial work. " We've got an emotional clean-up in aisle 6. And call out the neural pathway crew to lay in a new groove and put up "don't go there "sign on the old road." The crew did their work rather efficiently and while I imagined feeling a little unwell, the week passed sans stomach upset.

Demon #2 dropped in for a little visit yesterday while we were chatting with a friend about finding a house and property to buy here on the island. Several small, off-handed remarks by the chatee (or was he the chatter?) threw me into spasms of fear. Oh no, what if we can't find a place? What if everything is too expensive? too small? too ugly? Yada yada yada.

I recognized how little it takes to awaken those demons of fear and worry, a classic human habitual tendencies, I think. We bounce back and forth between fear and hope, I once heard Pema Chodron say. And again, once I could see what old monkey (or was that gorilla) mind was up to he collapsed like one of those inflatable clowns (not before he'd bounced around my mental landscape for a bit).

So that was my week, pursued by demons, brutalized by digital thugs. In between I had enough time to have lunch with friends in Victoria and deliver some art to ArtCraft for their summer show. How's your week been?


  1. Luv you new web site...good job!!!

  2. I'm going on your website next! This is something I have listed so many times this past year so it is encouraging to read you did it with little or no permanent damage!! Yeah!
    My week is going well and I'm finding my demons visit regularly now just before going to sleep...amazing to wait all day to then begin all the panic and fears at midnight...lately I just say "Go to sleep Mary Ann" just "go to sleep" eventually I go to sleep and I suppose they do too! Not always as easy as it reads ha

  3. Awesome website! I'm soooooo signing this post off with my jealous-emotional-scrawl!

    There is this great story about Milarepa and the demons who visited him. He ended up inviting them in for tea. Since I made chocolate cake over at 108ZB, I may as well brew some chai and invite them in as well, eh?

    Good week though. Went today and fetched my mum's roses from her (now empty) house in Montreal. Let's hope they transplant well. Got some cool goodies in the mail and inspired to do something interesting with that Buddha kanji script. And amking triple ginger sparkle cookies on Sunday:

    Hope you all have a fabulous weekend!

  4. Very nice website! And I *love* the "gallery" of Buddha images. Such a tranquil place to visit and hang out, just soaking in the colors and imagery. I'll be back :)

    Love your tale of how it all unfolded for you too! "...the neural pathway crew..." ! send them here next please :)

    Am also intrigued by the painting at the top of this post. It looks very "oceanic" in the background ?

    Glad you survived the week! :)

  5. I love this post! Have you been listening to my mind lately? And of course we are all forgiven for being human (zoo's in our heads aside)with a generous cup of compassion and perhaps a side of dark chocolate for good measure. I will be hopping over to your new website to check it out in a moment...congratulations, I know from experience how much work/frustration/play/more work goes into website building from personal experience (and believe me I was totally inexperienced when I started my site)

  6. wonderful, wonderful gallery!!!!

  7. Thanks Turquoise Moon for the kind words! Soothes the banged head.

    Blue Sky Dreaming: ah those midnight demons. I remember when we were selling our house, every doubting demon came to visit at bedtime! And yes sometimes these things sound a lot easier and breezier in print than actual life.

    Genju: Your signature has the lovely flourishes and tendrils of kindness, generosity and wisdom! And I am heading right over for a big slice of that cake and a wonderful mug of chai.

    Meanderi: Thanks as always for your support. The neural pathway crew is headed your way. They're very worn out from all the work they've had here!

    Laura: Thanks for that reminder that its all okay, just part of the human predicament! And of course chocolate is always welcome. I bet it makes a tasty mocha with that cup of compassion.