What the Heart Longs For

I am living in a place that requires no window coverings. There is no one to see in and plenty for me to see out. At night when I turn out all the lights the indigo sky is awash with stars. If I happen to wake up in the night the moon might be shining in the window like an oversized street light or a barge lit up like a cruise ship might startle my half awake self.

And if the day is clear and bright I might wake at 5:30 to a magical orange glow over the islands held in a brilliant blue sky. If the day starts overcast like today, I might not wake until 7 to find a white, grey sky so quiet and peaceful not even the birds think to disturb the silence.

In this place I live as if I am just another one of earth's creatures. My life revolves around the weather and the rising and setting of the sun. On a sunny day I notice the vibrant energy that tugs me from my bed. An overcast day is a quieter affair, more given to silence and sitting than bounding energy. A sunny day means laundry and garden watering. A rainy day or sunset is a good time to bury myself in a book or paint.

I am finding it hard to stay in the house during the day. Something in me is starved to be outside, greedily gulping in fresh air and spring greenery at every chance. I am following this craving. Today I dragged two folding chairs out to the meadow by the garden. Then I rounded up a bale of hay for a table and presto a perfect lunch spot. I am plotting perfect evening dinners in the meadow. Imagine guests surprise to find a bale of hay table laid with dinner and tealights. I need to find a checkered table cloth. Here's the beginning of a story line!

What does all this have to do with the Dharma? I think it is about living in the flow of life, doing what your heart is longing for. I think that simplifying life allows us to see what our heart longs for. Or is it that our heart longs for a simpler life? Simplifying life allows us to feel what makes us sad and see what makes our heart soar. We can't separate the two, our sad and happy parts. They come wrapped in the same little package.

I think we can simplify our lives no matter where we live. For me, being a slightly dense sort, I need to be banged on the head by the rising sun and moon. I need to sit in the middle of a meadow to get that I am the same as a deer or a turkey buzzard. I am just part of this great whole, fortunate enough to be spending some time on this beautiful blue planet. I am learning to find joy in everything and nothing all at the same time. And it is uproariously joyful. And if you're passing this way, there is a chair waiting in the meadow for you.