Fear, Faith And Flying

Yesterday I wrote about fear in relationship mostly to health and the body.  Someone left a comment that our allopathic medical system is "fear" based and that seems a pretty accurate description of it in many ways.  We are afraid of pain and suffering and illness, and ultimately death. And strangely we are often most afraid of our fear.  So much of this bubbles below the surface like toxic ground water that it's no wonder we easily participate in a fear based health care system.

This morning I was thinking about fear from a slightly different angle.  As I sat, a conversation I had with Bunny the cat's owner, popped into my head.  Bunny lives here for now and the discussion revolved around would Bunny stay or go elsewhere at the end of the agreed on 9 month cat sit.  Bunny's owner said she didn't want to make a decision about Bunny's future from a place of lack or fear.  I had said Bunny could stay here permanently as I don't think Bunny would be happy to make another move.  Bunny's owner felt this was not the place to be coming from.  She went away to ponder this and Bunny's fate has not been decided at this point.  But the more I think about it, the more I agree with this wise young woman who has spent the last 8 months in a Buddhist monastery.

This morning I could somehow really appreciate this "not coming from fear" position.  It reminded me that the opposite of fear is really faith.  Faith that  things will bring us what we need, not necessarily what we want, but what we need.  And what could make more sense in the grand scheme of things than getting what we need.  It is a position that asks, "what do we know, really?" and reminds us that there is always a bigger picture than our little selves can see.  And those of us who have spent a lot of our lives waiting for the proverbial "other shoe to drop" need to be reminded every now and then "that the universe is not out to get us."  (and it doesn't wear size 12 army boots)

This morning I was thinking about some life changes we want to make and how the uncertain economic times keep coming up in our conversations with people.  And so this morning I was thinking not so much about Bunny's future and fear based choices but how we will approach a potential relocation.  I thought I want to try that "not fear thing", kinda like, oh yeah I'll try that new ice cream flavour, over there.  I want to try and do this without caving in to the predominant thinking that's fouling the air these days, a fear based, doom and gloom flavour (I'll have a double scoop of grim reaper, with plague sprinkles, please).  

Approaching things with faith and confidence doesn't mean you throw caution overboard, or send your rational mind on vacation.  As my friend, the monk would say, you do things "whole heartedly".  She herself has demonstrated this through a number of moves over the last few years.  Even though some choices defied cautious logic, she said, this seems good to do (after listening for that inner direction), let's have faith and act and see what happens.  In one instance we found her the most fabulous house, with a lake view, and lovely neighbours where the landlord's agent agreed to lower the rent.  What happened was truly beyond belief.

So, to have faith takes courage; to keep remembering through all the small acts of the day takes awareness and vigilance.  It is so easy to slop into those comfy old fear slippers, they may have a few holes but they are always waiting for us by the bed.  To just be open and present and take action, that is our job.  And no small one.  It is our practice.  There is a quote to the effect that there is an energy, a momentum created by our taking the first step.  Without that first step, we just sit around and overthink things, tell ourselves all the reasons why our plans won't work.  We offer ourselves the opposite of hope and call it rational and sensible thinking.  Man we can be bad company for ourselves, sometimes!

I will end with this quote that I love by Guillaume Apollinaire:  "Come to the edge," he said.    They said, "we are afraid."  "Come to the edge," he said.  They came.  He pushed them and they flew.  So get out the wax and feathers, we've got some flyin' to do.

Impatience Is A Shopper's Virtue

Yesterday I went down to the art supply store to pick up a couple of canvases.  On the way back to the car my partner and I wandered in to a local home decor store when some art in the window caught my eye.  As we were walked by a bedroom display he poked me and said, "You are virtuous."

"What?"  I looked around and he pointed to sign sitting on the night table.  It read (I kid you not):  "Impatience is a virtue." and went on to describe some credit plan that would allow you to purchase what you wanted right now.   I poked him back. His quip was meant as a joke and as in all jokes there is an element of truth!  Impatience would be one of those things I work with... I like my results and I like them right now!  Ah, I never run out of things to train with!

But the story for me was, that the store and  the copy writer who created this little ad thought it a fine way (and slightly funny too I'm guessing) to persuade people to buy what they might not be able to afford, to encourage them to buy on impulse...  To use desire and the instant need to fill it as a way of selling their wares.  And would there be shoppers who would respond to this reverse, perverse logic?  Might that help you justify buying something when reason and patience dictate that you think it over or leave it until another day?  You might actually go home and the clutches of desire for that new couch might fade or your credit card statement might appear in the mail and a cooler head prevail?

So if we are doing our practice and trying to lessen the grip of desire we are doing a difficult thing, going against the culturally condoned sentiments of our consumer culture.  There is a quote from Buddhist scripture that says something like "when we undertake training we are standing against the world."  And I think this is the pragmatic meaning of it.  "You're a freak if you don't want stuff, new stuff and want it now."  I have found it so interesting (and at first slightly disconcerting) that shopping no longer holds a lot of interest for me.  I come from a long line of shoppers and still have friends that find solace in a little retail therapy, but for me the charm has worn off for the most part.  Oh sure I still need stuff now and then and still buy stuff and enjoy it but shopping as an afternoon's outing no longer holds much interest.  When I first noticed this loss of  a form of entertainment and excitement  I felt a little lost, perhaps disappointed in a strange way.  A pleasure lost.  I had to adjust to my new mind that had somehow been quietly changing below the surface. 

Ultimately I think it is about coming to know the truth  .... the difference between pleasure (found in outside things) and happiness (a state generated from the inside).  First we hear about it and then after a while it becomes part of us.  Then we can know that a houseful of brand new furniture can't really make us happy.  And no one can convince us then that impatience is a virtue.  Unless you work on commission!

Do You Have "Poverty Mind?"

This painting from a series called "Zen Squared" bears the words "Open Your Eyes and Heart".  One of my favourite things is to combine words and images as I've done here.  This painting seems to go with the quote: "Until we deal with poverty mind, the redistribution of all the wealth in the world won't change the outer situation."  This quote is from Pema Chodron in her book "No Time To Lose" which is a commentary on Shantideva's "Way of the Boddhisatva.  

Even though this book was published in 2005 this quote seems to speak directly to the current  climate of economic doom and gloom that's on everyone's lips.  Are these economic problems really concrete issues best solved in the board rooms of the business world or are they a sign of something deeper?  Are the big boys really just smoothing a little cream on a rash when we should be doing a liver cleanse???  As a society have we simply lost our way, are we spiritually bereft?  And is that now simply being reflected in what's going on in the market place?  Do we need to look a lot deeper if we are ever going to begin to deal with the real problems?

Yesterday I was reading about a book called "The Gift: Imagination and the Erotic Life of Property."  It is apparently a longstanding cult classic with a multidisciplinary approach that's been getting a bit of press lately.  The book references  Native cultures where wealth was based on the gifts given rather than the possessions held.   These cultures were cultures of abundance and sharing (gift giving) while our society is based on scarcity and personal ownership.  When you think about our consumer society, it keeps on chugging along by constantly creating a sense of need or desire in us, the consumer (kind of the opposite of a Buddhist practice in a way, where we want to lessen the grips of our attachments.)  

Advertising is based on this idea that we  lack something.  We are needs waiting to be filled.  Advertising's sole aim is to stimulate desire in us, desire strong enough to motivate us to go out and buy something.  If we just had this diamond or that soap or this cereal we would be more beautiful, more satisfied, healthier.  How much of our culture revolves around advertising and selling and shopping?  I read a study that asked people where were they most likely to be found.  If I remember correctly, the second most popular answer was "the mall". 

 If we are good consumers we respond to this advertising, hoping to  find happiness in this face cream or that car, the relentless search..... the poverty mind, that Pema Chodron talks about.  So here's a radical idea, maybe we can become the solution to the economic crisis, maybe we can realign ourselves with abundance mind, maybe we can be happy with what we already have, with trading and sharing, swapping and gift giving.  Maybe we can contemplate what would really make us feel happy and abundant.  Maybe once we work on eliminating poverty mind in ourselves, this will start to spread and grow and we will reach some strange unimaginable tipping point where sanity  and abundance prevail in a quieter more satisfied world.