The Flavour of These Days

There is  something indulgent about the holiday season, all the tastes and smells and sights that give pleasure.  I am good with this season of celebration as long as it sidesteps the madness of the consumer driven holiday.  I don't want to know about angry shoppers or maxed out credit cards or .....  Call me the Christmas ostrich but I am sticking my head in the sand to holiday madness, to desire run rampant.

Today a walk in the foggy rainforest, salal glistening in the rain but we, the walkers, protected by the forest canopy.  The dreamy feeling of walking through the forest of hulking green giants in the fog.  Christmas chocolate in the pocket, just in case.  Smoke from the chimney at dusk when we return home.  The reflection of Christmas lights in the window.

I am savouring  a slate wiped clean of commitments and plans by the holidays.  A day for leisurely cooking and baking of plant based treats.  Blogging friend, David Ashton at Snow Branches often reminds us about extending our compassion to the animal world by declining to eat them.  For me I am more conscious of it at this time of year seeing how simple and delicious it is to eat a plant based diet.  Vegan shortbread made with "Earth Balance" and panela sugar, my mother's old carrot pudding recipe (read plum pudding but less rich) made vegan by using canola oil and EB, kale chips (recipe here) a holiday main dish created by my nutritionist daughter that includes nuts and white beans, and many other treats.  The joy of spending time in the kitchen together creating and laughing,

Tenzin Palmo in her book "Reflections on a Mountain Lake" responds to a question regarding vegetarianism & Buddhism by saying: "These days, more and more lamas are becoming vegetarian, especially the younger ones, partly for health reasons and partly because they recognize the hypocrisy of talking about universal compassion and then sitting down to a steak or a chicken dinner."

the modern family enjoys the holidays!

As we spend the evenings together we have been enjoying a few movies on the computer.  I was introduced to "Dr Who" via the Christmas special which reminded me a lot of the old children's story "The Lion, The Witch And the Wardrobe."  We watched a Christmas episode of "Supernatural", a favourite show of my daughter's which gave me nightmares in which I was accused of being a witch at a border crossing.  I pleaded I was not a "dark witch".

The solstice sock monkey

As a new year draws near the following thoughts from Tenzin Palmo form a strong part of my resolve for my myself. "It is not enough to hold vast views.  If there is no correspondence between these views and our conduct, we are in danger.  Guru Padmasambhava once said to King Trisong Detsen, "Your view must be as vast as the sky, but your conduct must be as finely sifted as barley flour."

I hope your holidays are filled with simple joys and the opportunity to contemplate the year that is slipping through our fingers and look forward with gusto to the one tiptoeing up the path.

Be Like A Big Fat Happy Orange Buddha!

I bought this happy little guy with some birthday bucks I received.  I'd been lusting after him in all his orangeness (is this improper to say about the Buddha?) in a local shop and finally made the choice to bring him home with me.  I mostly don't like this image of the Buddha, preferring more serene looking ones, but there was something so intensely right about this fat, happy, shiny orange Buddha.  He truly does make me smile when I pass him.

Yesterday I had a lovely Dharma chat with a friend that just returned from England.  While she was there she saw Tenzin Palmo, whose book "Cave In the Snow" is a truly amazing account of her 12 year retreat in the Himalayas. My friend was smitten with Tenzin Palmo, her clarity and insight.  As we chatted about our respective Dharma experiences my friend made the comment that Tenzin Palmo had said "Westerners are so confused."  So I had to ask, if Easterners were less confused.  A recent comment I had read said basically that we are all somewhat confused until we're enlightened.

My friend's understanding was that Tenzin felt we westerners are more confused because we lack a sense of self.  Again I had to check on what that meant.  And she said we are often beseiged by self hatred which is not part of the Eastern mindset and our confusion stems from this.  I  remember a story about the Dalai Lama being asked about self-hatred.  When the question was posed to him he spent a long time chatting with his translator as the concept of self-hatred (or contempt, or dislike, if you prefer) was so incomprehensible to him.  He was apparently visibly saddened when he learned that we Westerners spend a lot of time in this state.  

This mindset of self hatred is the opposite of confidence according to Tenzin Palmo.   And  so because we don't like or believe or trust in ourselves, our doubting minds are very active and cause us to second guess ourselves, to wander around thinking, "now should I do this or should I do that?  How do I decide?"  And we often become paralyzed with inactivity and fear of making the wrong choice (that's my koan sometimes).  Or we run off and make completely goofy choices that reverberate with suffering later on, simply because we have been unable to consider our options clearly.  

This comment on confidence was a really interesting aspect of Tenzin Palmo's teaching because when I recently did a little Dharma exercise in "feeding my demons" what came up for me was precisely this issue, "have more confidence, belief, faith in yourself."  My habitual tendency to think in this way goes something like this: "oh, this might work for others but not for me" or somewhere hiding in the back of my mind, often in a subtle way, lies the belief that things won't work out or I can't possibly succeed at this or that task.  I suspect I am not alone in thinking these thoughts.  

And that is a place where I am directing some Dharma energy these days, chipping way, or perhaps I prefer melting away the solid, frozen waste land of self-hatred and self doubt.  Like an iceberg this tendency protrudes deep below the surface, only showing its icy tip in the landscape.  When we think of self confidence we are not talking about arrogance or aggression or a me-first kind of way of being in the world.  We are not talking about encouraging "pride" which in fact is one of the 5 hindrances and is really just a thin table cloth spread over the picnic of self doubt and hatred.

So that's the word for today kids!  Be like the big, fat orange happy Buddha.  Love your self, that true essential fat, orange Buddha nature in you that is always there.  Know that inside you, you possess everything you need to find your way in this world.  Because only when we truly love ourselves can we share our love, generosity and compassion with others.  Go out there and play nice (and don't forget to have some milk and cookies!)