Embers and Ash

Nature of Mind 24"x24"

As I write this I am sitting in front of a brilliant fire.  A garland of lights and pine branches still add sparkle to the hearth. It seems the perfect place on a dark night and it reminds me of the words "embers and ash" that crossed my path last week in two different places. That always makes me sit up and pay attention. This evening embers and ash whisper to me about the old year that has burned away as the new one catches fire?

Usually I am anxious to stow the festive bits away by now but for some reason this year I am savouring their brightness a little longer. Perhaps it is the unusual crispness of the outdoor air, with a promise of snow later this week that makes them seem seasonally appropriate or maybe the lovely newsletter from my homeopath, Seraphina Capranos where she describes her process of stretching the winter solstice period to envelop Dec 21- Jan 6th.  After a few weeks of mixing quiet reflection with visits and activities it feels restorative to retreat just a little longer to let the stillness of the season really sink in.

Field Work 12"x 9"

These dark days of winter feel like a time to turn inward and deeply nourish the inner self, to sit by the fire, to contemplate and write. Seraphina talks about dreaming ourselves into being. I like that. I think we are more ethereal than we take ourselves to be in this modern world, as much stardust as bone.

One of my favourite activities at the turning of the year is to gather up my journal and ponder the old year's path and the new one stretched out in front of me. The year that lies behind me was a fairly ordinary year in many ways. I didn't fall in any big holes or attach myself to any bright stars. It was a year of garden and paint and minor this and that's. One of the highlights was taking refuge with Geshe YongDong in the Tibetan Bon tradition. That simple act has had more power than I might have imagined. In 2016 I resolved to just let my art be, to paint, to let the work evolve without expectation, without looking to make the work support itself. There's a whole bunch of dharma in there!! There was evolution but of course not as much as the wanting mind would like. You can never please the ego.  And of course the inevitable comparisons and pangs of envy engendered by places like Instagram. Always ever more grist for the dharma mill :)

Tree's Innermost Thoughts 16"x 20"

I am much more of a look forward-er than a look back-er so that tends to be my focus as I contemplate. This year I found a curious theme emerge. As I wrote I found it was all about qualities of "BEING" rather than about intentions, aspirations or goals. I didn't want to "do" so much as "be". It's surprising what you find when you sit down to write. :)

 I found words emerge that would clearly lead the way. I woke up in the middle of the night and in response to a problem I'd been grappling with, the words "just SURRENDER" were waiting for me. And I mean surrender in the best sense of the word :). So that has clearly become a 2017 state of being I want to embrace.  I have been working a lot with "TRUST" in a number of circumstances: trusting what is, trusting what comes to me, trusting me, so trust is another key word for me in the year ahead. And I think it goes well with surrender. Another word that came to me via my Pilgrim Cards and seemed to resonate is "COURAGE".  Curiously each word arrived at a separate moment but they feel like they fit together perfectly. I mean you need courage and trust to surrender, otherwise you just give up instead :)

Storm Watch 10"x 10"

And what little seasonal tidbits do I have to offer as tiny treats? As a gift to our meditation practice we bought a fun little biofeedback gizmo called Muse that snoops on your brain to see if you are meditating or making your grocery list when you sit your cushion :) Muse tells all :)  This last week I have been enjoying Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche's short Facebook teachings. And a quote.  I can't exist long without something short and sweet to nourish me. Here's my most recent favourite: "You will see in the world, what you carry in your heart." Creig Crippen

And here's to your hearts dear friends, may they be filled with a passion and aliveness for this new year. May they awaken to the amazing, hidden potential inside you. May your creative spirit be nourished in surprising ways. May this year ahead bring you everything you need to make your heart sing.

Tip Toe Through The Demons

Cold Wax, Oil, Pan pastel 10"x10"

Yesterday I went to a day long teaching on "Chod" practice.  What, you say, does this involve chocolate or shoes?  No, not for the moment anyhow. It's a practice from the Bon tradition, a lovely Shamanic, Buddhist tradition from Tibet that predates Buddhism. I love that the originator of the practice was a woman, a rather old woman,Machig Labdron,1054-1155.

The one day teaching on chod was a bit like an amuse bouche, a little something tiny and delicious to make you feel happy inside. It's an ancient practice laced with a large helping of fierceness and depth. The shamans who practiced chod used to travel around to fearful places known to have bad energy (are you thinking Walmart? I thought so.) They hung out in charnal grounds (places of sky burials) and generally worked to tame and release dark energies. They cured illnesses, turned around epidemics and delved deeply into their fears. Quite the calling card.

Chod translates as "cutting through".  And in the modern world, as urban, householder shamans, what we're cutting through is attachments, those things we think we must have to make us happy.  Those things we absolutely need. Fill in the blanks.  What is that for you?  In the 42" screen view of your life, what must happen for it to be okay?  In the minutiae of daily life, how are things supposed to shake down? What attachments are so subtle that they breath you without you even noticing? Do you think things should be fair? People respectful of you?

 In my world I like things being reasonably easy, not too much trouble. I like it that way, and start to grumble when things don't comply with this world view.  I have opinions and beliefs that I consider right. Many of the things we want and like are fine in themselves, it's the "needing", the insistence that tips us over into attachment and trouble.  Geshe YongDong who led the Chod teaching said, "we have 84,000 thoughts a day. Sixty percent of those thoughts are about our attachments.  Any time you find yourself in a struggle, you've got attachment."  That's a sobering thought that I'm probably not attached to.

Ego clinging and fear is where the chod knife aims to cut, aiming to sever the attachment we have to ourselves, because ultimately one day we will have to give up our bodies, our loved ones and all the accessories we have accumulated.  Our practice is to learn to give up "stuff", views,  expectations as we travel around with our trusty chod knife.  When we get to the ultimate giving up, it will be less difficult, since we have been practicing internal and external closet cleaning in the days of our life. That's the plan and chod is the road map. Geshe YongDong pointed out that we are just renting this skin covered real estate. We don't get to keep it in any lasting way.

It's a shamanic practice so of course there are songs and a lovely little Damaru drum and some bells that get played to work on the unseen energies that bind us to our attachments, to give us the unseen help that we need to navigate the path toward living in harmony with what is.  We make our plans, we buy our stuff, we go about our daily lives.  But we spend our energies on learning to be more content and peaceful and generous. If we are successful it becomes less about us and the demons tiptoe off into the night.

XOX Buddha & The Shoe Salesman

Here's a new work, 24"x 24". As time goes on I find I like to work on bigger surfaces. An interesting admission from someone who started their art career on 5"x7" card stock! I was so intimidated by large surfaces but now I find small ones constraining. Another hard left for the guy in the impermanence corner! "All things arise and they pass away," as the the little chant goes that we sometimes do to end our meditation evenings.

I want to share a lovely, at times hilarious Dharma talk that I watched last night here. It's by Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche and I have to say there is something I totally love about this guy's Dharma and the Bon tradition. There is a wisp of the ethereal in it, a large measure of practicality; it overflows with wisdom and his talks are never without the sweet taste of humour. A great recipe in my mind and the more you listen to him, the more you see how deeply understands the western mind.

The talk I listened to was on creativity, but I would say it applies to all of life, rather than "the arts". He's talking about a creative approach. He talks a lot about the stories we run with, the ones we tell ourselves and others. And it is in fact belly laugh material. At one point he says something like, "I don't know all of your family and friends but I know that one person who gives you trouble. I hear about them all the time. I don't know if you even have other family members other than this one difficult person."

At one point he proposes that what we really need is therapists we go to and all we can tell is the good stories about our life, the happy picnic we remember as a child, the co-worker who we get along with. Hmm, sign me up!

And he reminds us of the impact our habitual negative thoughts have on our whole being. He is encouraging us to lighten up, to nourish ourselves with stories of what is right in our lives; what was right in the past, what was nourishing today, what's delicious on the horizon.

And of course it's not about living in stories, but it's about using our mind in wholesome ways. It is inevitable that we will think thoughts, why not train the mind to give weight to the nourishing ones, instead of the old patterns of worry, fear and depression. If unwholesome thoughts arise as they will, we don't need to energize them. This is our work. It's as RM Jiyu Kennett of the Order of Buddhist Contemplatives said, "The mind makes a good servant but not a very good master." And never to negate the value of simply being present with what is, without words or stories. This too is incredibly nourishing.

I will end with a story that he shares. Two shoe salesmen go to Africa and find a huge population of bare footed people. One salesman says, "no, this will never work, no one wears shoes here." The other salesman looks at the same sight and says, "wow, look at the potential here." Which salesman are you? I know what I've been selling myself. Time to change my mind shopping habits.