Caution

Sigh, no fresh studio treats today, kids.    Just crusty leftovers, slightly blue, even (which I guess is fine for pictures and some cheeses).  If it were dinner I might call it tilt.   An old Winnipeger taught me the word.  You just tilt the fridge and whatever comes out, well that's dinner.   In this case we have studio tilt.  I was busy putting finishing touches on studio stuff; making tags, and generally trying to create order from chaos for a couple of upcoming shows.  Two birds, no stones.  

So we're looking at a somewhat focus challenged shot taken on the same ferry ride as the "Push" photo of a few days ago.  You can see the reflection of me in my dorky hat which I have succumbed to wearing for extended sun stays. There's a few things going on here that I like.  I am text obsessed and slightly reflection obsessed so it's more about obsession than photography.  And quite unintentionally the shot is out of focus.  But in the end I think that blurry , fogginess is just a perfect part of the statement.  We're talking illusions here, tricks of the mind.  What is real?  What's reflected back to us?  How often does our confusion or fogginess prevent us from seeing the truth?  Who knew a 45 minute ferry ride could offer so much Dharma?

I liked the "surface may be" text.  Seems very zen.  It hints at illusion, don't you think?  Surface may be.  We don't know for sure.  Surface may not be.  It begs the question what's real and what's not?  Is this world a dream?  Do we create our own reality?  It's pretty subjective when you get right down to it.  What we think, what we expect, what we believe all influence (or should I say create) our reality.  If you believe the someone can cast a spell on you and cause your death, this could be your reality.  If you expect you are going to have a bad day,  what happens to you?  Do you set up some kind of energetic domino effect?  How powerful are your thoughts?  How powerful are our emotions?  Do we draw similar energy to us?

I will end with a poetic quote from Dogen:      "To what shall I liken this world

Moonlight, reflected

  In Dewdrops

   Shaken From A Crane's Bill

Dogen And Cheese Blintzes

I did a few paintings a while back, using only shades of grey with lots of texture and in the end they please me.  I think there is something about the rough texture and slightly crude form that I like.  I call this one "Dogen's Boat" because it has a quote from Dogen collaged on to it that says: "When riding in a boat, if one watches the shore one may assume that the shore is moving.  But watching the boat directly one knows it is the boat that moves."

I think Dogen is talking about perspective here, about where we place our eye and the difference between truth and illusion which is tricky business.  What I have been experiencing today as Dharma may not be an exact experience of what Dogen is talking about but I think there is some relation.  Today I took my soon to be 94 yr old mother to the doctor.  Lately, after much work (years in fact) I thought to myself I am making friends with my mother.  She no longer pushes my buttons in the same old way.  And then I realized that yes I am making friends with my mother but really I am making friends with myself.  I have done enough work on this that I am no longer stirring up trouble, making myself irritated at the things she does.  I don't read things in to her every action.  I don't take things personally.  In short I have come to see the "truth" of how things are.  I have come to accept her and myself.  We are no longer doing the age old misery tango that we have done for so many years.

I still listen to what she says and think that it has a negative bend to it, that her glass has a hole in the bottom and is more than half empty.  And that makes me feel sad for her.  But I can see that  life can be difficult for those of us with a practice, who spend time reflecting  and working  with what we do.   So how difficult is it when you have nowhere to rest all your troubles and grievances?  Today my partner and I could even have a good old laugh about some of her comments, no ranting and grumbling on my part, no need for him to commiserate, just a good old laugh and on with the day.  And so there I was in a boat with my mother eating cheese blintzes and poppy seed cake and both of us were enjoying ourselves thoroughly!