Sunday, February 24, 2013

This Mysterious Thing

What is a life? This mysterious thing we possess, given to us without asking, without instructions. This quivering mass of flesh cast into a place alive with chaos and joy and danger, with it's own momentum, with it's own sweet and terrifying signatures. Do we live it on auto pilot like the one in my gas stove, always lit just a little, burning a low flame?

Where does the journey of our heart meet the road map of the soul? Can I really taste, see, feel? I mean deeply, in some way that passes through this paper thin skin into the deep parts of me that are ready to lap it up, that are waiting to experience the richness and terror of being alive, unprotected, unmitigated, Open.

This thing I call my life seems stitched together by bits of everyday experience:  a chance meeting here, a movie, a piece of art, a song, a bar of soap. Occasionally insights bubble up from the deep well of knowing that lives inside me, and I say, ah I see now. Something inside me is ignited and I see motives, and maps and visions of possibility. I see tiny keys to doors locked somewhere deep inside some past me, some future me, some simmering me.

Sometimes I think my heart has been locked inside an armoured car for years and then mysteriously it is set free by a song. Sometimes it seems I can hardly feel anything and then a friend pulls me into a gallery and we understand how strength and vulnerability are interwoven, as we gaze on a sculpted face.  Sometimes just when I think I can never really know another being, someone stirs me with a story of how they died on an operating table and came back to life. Sometimes when I'm thinking it is too hard to be alive I am offered a parent's story of navigating the churning waters of a child's addiction without a compass.

Here are the bits that have been flavouring the rich, vital and surprising broth that is my recent life.  Tell me what fantastic journeys your life is taking you on these days? We are travelers without a map, following the gulf winds of our hearts. Wishing you a wondrous journey that opens your heart and affords you good passage. And always we know there are no safe passages through the straits and isthmus of an authentic life.

I am smitten by the integrity, purity and commitment to supporting the environment and traditional cultures of the personal care products at Sinfully Wholesome.

I have been singing with joy at the dignity of the human spirit after watching the documentary "Searching For Sugarman"

I have been gobsmacked and mesmerized by the beauty and serenity of the sculpture of local artist Lynn Demers.

And I have been tantalized by the fermented creations I've been conjuring up in the kitchen: kombucha, sauerkraut, kimchi and pickled ginger. Looking forward to making some sourdough and other goodies when I get my copy of Sandor Katz "The Art of Fermentation"

Oh yeah, and there's been some art but that's for next time.


  1. carole, lately my thoughts have been running along these lines too. but it's all so slippery i can't hold onto any one thing for long. yes, yes, sometimes the light's all shining on me, other times i can barely see.

    it seems to always come back to acceptance...


    1. It's been that kind of winter, yes? you are so right, accepting what cycles through (and what remains) bows to you, Lynne

  2. Beautiful post... I love how you describe the richness of your experience of discovery. The depth of your questions and the poignancy about the paradoxes, layers, and aspects of life and living as "travelers without a map" is inspiring :)

    No "fantastic journey" here. :) As you know I have been plumbing the depths of life for a long time. Right now I am drawn to the interplay of focus and balance. What that has to do with anything, I am not sure, :) but I am following where it leads... And it seems that everything leads back to Truth - Universal Truth, to the Essence of Being, and the deeper question: Who am I?

  3. Plumbing the depths is important, yes! And recognizing and respecting what we are drawn to is a key. Always the questions, the exploration, wherever that leads us.

  4. This post is layer upon layer of life's mysteries uncovered...beautiful. I heard last night that "Searching for Sugarman" received recognition from Academy Awards which is nice.
    I have been listening to Leonard Cohen's song "Come Healing" as a daily lullaby.
    Thank you.

    1. yes, yay! Even the making of the movie is a great story!

      I love Leonard Cohen but don't know this song. Will check it out. Have you heard his Prince of Asturias acceptance speech? It's a knock out.

  5. What a beautiful post. Thank you.

  6. thank god I have my art to balance all of these life questions - in that creative process is when I feel the most balanced - on the outside of that it feels all a mystery xox

  7. spoken like a true artist of life!