Wednesday, June 6, 2012

How To Get Settled

 work in progress - not sure what it needs

I have been thinking about "settling" lately. I have been noticing this phenomena I think of as "settling" when I paint, when I garden and in relation to my life on this island. I noticed it as I painted the other day. It wasn't a well formed idea, but I became aware of  the busy thoughts and the stories of how I needed to add something to one painting and fix another. I felt the edgy energy as I picked up one canvas and looked at another and wondered what I should do next. And then finally after a bit of sparrow mind, of wanting mind, I settled and worked without need.  A small blustery "head" wind had simply blown itself out.

The strength of this idea really took hold later when I went out to garden. There was an almost manic sense of getting this weed and picking up that stray branch and oh my god, this needs to be done and that needs to be cleared away. And there is so much work to do. But then Self said to self, "this is silly" and I realized the complete lack of urgency of the whole situation and I settled into the lovely chore of weeding and planting and watering.
Mapping The Heart 6"x6"


And as I wandered, I saw a thread trailing from studio to garden. And as the thread sewed intself into a thought, I realized it takes time to settle. I know this is not revolutionary or rocket science (kids, don't try this at home!, no go ahead, really), but it seemed important, the simple fact that the mind needs time to make the transition from one activity to the next. Busy, wanting mind needs time to settle. It's like the old "dirt shaken in a jar of water" story. When we move from one activity to the next, especially a busy task oriented one, to a slower, perhaps creative endeavor, the swirling continues for a while.  And the thing I realized is we can't "make" our minds settle. We can offer the conditions for settling. We can put the jar down but the settling happens on it's own. Trying to make the mind settle is just another form of swooshing the jar.

And as I picked weeds and marveled at the beauty of the treed hillside and the rolling meadow below I realized that I had finally "settled" in a very tangible way, here on this island. I'm not quite sure exactly when it happened but after 2 years here there is a deep sense of home. After many forms of wanting and swirling, I can see the small ways that tell me I've settled.  When I walked past the barn last night on the way from picking kale in the garden, I thought that my former home no longer was my idea of "home", that this place was much more "me". I have started buying things that indicate to me I'm staying here, farm things. The push lawn mower from city life has finally been replaced. I have given up telling people I have a back up plan. There are so many small signs of settling.
 small work on canvas paper


In small ways we are like the earth. When the earth settles in a spot sometimes it cracks or heaves to accommodates the terrain in quirky ways. And so it is with us. We have no idea exactly what will happen when we settle, momentarily or otherwise. But to be sure it is like our whole being breathes some sigh when we settle. Something in us relaxes. Our mind quiets, we stop asking for more, we stop wanting to know and we just are. Settled.

Sometimes we are explorers filled with the energy of excitement and sometimes we are settlers, setting our heart roots deep into the landscape, into our selves, into life and relaxing into what is.  I wish you good settling.

23 comments:

  1. Absolutely *love* this post and your paintings! And am so glad that you are experiencing that settled feeling! - "a deep sense of home." It touches this heart - sigh... :) It does seem that when the heart settles into "home" everything settles, no matter what the circumstances. Still working on that :)
    Happy settling!

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    1. Thanks Christine! Yes relevant to your post today! I think we're always in the process of settling and getting unsettled and back again.

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  2. Home. What a generous gift you have given yourself. My sense is you will bring heart roots to your paintings upon settling.
    Always a treat to read your thoughts, and nod my head, yes, yes.

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  3. seems we are often on the same page! nice thought, heart roots to infuse my work. I like that.

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  4. Settling...yes. Lovely post, thanks.

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  5. yes, yes, it's true, we can't make ourselves settle. i keep coming back to this over and over.

    xoxo

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    1. that"s a big one, don't you think? the taming of the inner control freak?

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  6. what a fabulous post - and one I needed to read this morning. settling is necessary and to realize it takes time after a whirlwind of activity - helps to allow it to happen. and how restful if feels to find home.

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    1. I think just the fact of knowing this helps to add to the possibility of settling. It's like having faith it will happen.

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  7. There is so much beauty in this piece. Its such a wonderful perspective for me to see as well..."we cant make the mind settle" we just provide the space for it to do so, and it settles all on its own.

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    1. thanks! there are so many places where this idea of "we can't make it happen, we can only cultivate the ground for it" applies, don't you find?

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  8. this all rings so true Carole - I'm always happiest when I'm HOME! however I don't mind a bit of restlessness around the edges to keep me taking the side roads - the first painting I find very interesting - it really has a voice! xo

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    1. Thanks Jeane, always interested in your take on work as yours resonates so deeply for me.

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  9. This last paragraph settled nicely into me...thank you. Enjoyed all three of these pieces in whatever stage they might be...finished or beginning.
    Sometimes I look around my home and just smile...I like it and I like being here which in my long life has been rare but now not so rare.

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    1. I feel like I'm developing an abstract "vocabulary" but that the grammar needs some work!

      I know what you mean, Perhaps we get wiser, and perhaps this wiseness helps us make better choices, perhaps we are just happier with what we have which I think is part of wiseness?

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  10. Your current works in progress are wonderful to see, Carole! I love the subtle beauty of "Mapping The Heart." And such good thoughts shared on energy here today. I notice times in the studio creating/painting are much more settled when I've done some yoga, meditation or other contemplative, nourishing practice, than if I just crash into the studio try to get started on something but often just end up flitting around from project to project, piece to piece waiting for that right-fit moment. We do tend to make it harder for ourselves, don't we? ;o) Happy Days ((HUGS))

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    1. Tracy, you are right, we can make it hard for ourselves! Yes something contemplative first is good. So many Dharma teachers suggest this. I think Trungpa Rinpoche has a big section in one book on this suggesting we'd be a bit crazy not to do this!

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  11. What medium is Mapping the Heart, if you don't mine sharing? Are these on gessoed boards or what? Just curious. They are lovely and subtle. Thanks

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  12. Yes, I don't mind one bit. In fact I consider it the highest form of flattery (interest, appreciation?) for other artists to be interested in process. It's canvas with some texturing (plaster of paris and light molding medium) with layers of paint, then walnut ink and pastel. Just messing around really until I like it.

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  13. A simply beauty-full collection of new painted works and as always your words are like threads themselves weaving a quieting and generous willingness to scoop us all up and carry us someplace with you...so very worth going toward...so worthy of pushing into the unsettledness to arrive at the 'Mapped Heart'.

    Lovely.

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  14. thanks, Donna. So nice to see your lovely self here!

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